i'm Not Telling

timism of the day: i bow my head in humility today as i see that i have aged without ample appreciation. Many have asked, “Tim, how old are you?” And my response occurred to me as yet another error as i proclaimed a snide, “i’m not telling”! Then it hit me, why am i resistant to tell my age? As i centered down and took inventory of my feelings and emotions about this quandary, i found that i was ashamed, afraid, remorseful, embarrassed, and envious. Not the feelings that would make for much of a happy birthday one would think. Yet this is where i am. And thus, perhaps why so many wish upon you a happy birthday. Perhaps we all inherently feel similar uncomfortable emotions on our birthdays that we feel inclined to proclaim loudly in the company of others that this should indeed be a happy happy day.

Yes, i am aware that i am fearfully and wonderfully made and am unique and special in God’s eyes, made in His image, formed before the earth was even formed for a good, acceptable and perfect work. Yet, i still hang my head and cry.

i do appreciate, inspite my tendency towards error, insipite of the fact that i have on many an occasion simply not listened to that which i know to be truth. Inspite of my inclination to question everything and inspite my full knowledge that i am the answer to someone's problem, the tall drink of water to someone’s thirst, the piece to someone’s puzzle, and the beat to someone’s song.

i do appreciate, yet i do not think it is ample appreciation to the magnitude of the day.

Thus, to give the day due diligence i leave you with this one truth. One can only be as happy as their relationship are good. What is a birthday without those to celebrate it with? My last several birthdays merely slipped by unnoticed as i wished it to be so in perhaps a futile attempt to pretend they were not there.

With respect to relationships, i would like to share with you some things i’ve learned over the years. Success in your life depends on the kind of relationships you allow into your life. When good people enter your life good things starts happening but when bad people enter your life bad things will happen. Nobody succeeds alone. Every man or women today who is successfull had someone that believed in them. Success in life depends on the right people believing in and encouraging you. It depends also on how you treat those people you allow into your life. Favor knocks at your door when people like you. So respect and how you treat people is important for you to be successful in Life. Respect is important because what you respect you will attract and what you disrespect will eventually move away from you. i have learned these powerful truths the hard way.

Thus as a gift to all of you who wished me a Happy Birthday, i would like to share with you 15 gifts of wisdom to strengthen any relationship you choose to be part of, with scripture for those of you who are inclined that way:

1. Send someone a signal that they matter

Everyone needs reassurance of their worth. Remind yourself throughout today that each person you meet has encountered waves of criticism, condemnation and inferiority… you can change this. Your words of reassurance can be like water on their seeds of hope.

Isaiah 50:4 “The Lord God hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary…”.

2. Compliment someone

A popular, yet inaccurate statement is, “words are cheap”. Nothing could be further from the truth. Words cause wars. Words settle wars. Words create the waves of emotion that control our world. Your words of kindness today could easily create the wave that carries someone to their dream.

Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

3. Abandon abusive friendshipsThere are four kinds of people in your life: Those who add, subtract, divide and multiply. Those who do not increase you inevitably will decrease you. It is NOT the responsibility of others to discern your worth, it is yours.

Proverbs 22:24,25 “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”

4. Confide in few

Someone has said that even a fish wouldn’t get caught if it kept its mouth shut!Confidentiality is a gift to be shared in the privacy of prayer or with an intercessor God has assigned to your life. Never share your troubles with someone unqualified to help you.

Proverbs 25:9,10 “Debate your case with your neighbor, and don’t betray the confidence of another; Lest one who hears it put you to shame, and your bad reputation never depart.”

5. Celebrate the opinion of others

One of the greatest Gifts you will ever give anyone is the “Gift of Recognition”. Every husband, wife, child, acquaintance or friend is authorized by the Creator to have a viewpoint and an opportunity to express it. Honor their right to be heard.

Philippians 2:3,4 “Don't do anything from selfish ambition or from a cheap desire to boast, but be humble toward one another, always considering others better than yourselves. And look out for one another's interests, not just for your own.”

6. Quench the urge to Judge

You cannot draw conclusions as long there is missing information. Things are NEVER as they first appear. Reserve judgment, and never attempt to explain or penalize someone for actions you do not fully understand. Most of the people that we find difficult are simply different than us. It’s our differences that make us special and we tend to mock what we do not understand.

Romans 2:1 “Therefore you are without excuse, O man, whoever you are who judge. For in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself. For you who judge practice the same things.”

7. Make smile your style

Your face telegraphs your attitude toward life, others and about yourself. Your countenance creates a climate that attracts people toward you or causes them to move away from you. When you first smile, you have decided the direction the relationship will go. One of the practices that i recommend is to smile as you enter every doorway, even if you know no one is there, consider it practice, as this smile has the power to set the mood of the room. You have no idea of your power, nor do you know as to whom is watching. Smiles are contagious. You can rule the room with just a simple smile as you enter.

Ecclesiastes 8:1 “Who is as the wise man? and who knoweth the interpretation of a thing? A man's wisdom maketh his face to shine, and the hardness of his face is changed.”

8. Develop the gift of romance

Romance is when you deliberately create a special moment or memorable event in someone’s life. Don’t wait for your mate to create a perfect occasion. Assertively, creatively and with spontaneity start scheduling unique moments and methods to express your love. To be unforgotten do something unforgettable today.Ephesians 5:31 “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”

9. Learn something “new” about someone you loveKnowledge increases confidence. The more knowledgeable you become about someone, the more capable you become at anticipating their needs.Develop a personal portfolio of their particular preferences, such as favorite car, food, colors, songs, books and secret ambitions. Our Heavenly Father created uniqueness to be discovered, appreciated and celebrated. Greatness will unfold with each discovery.

1 Thessalonians 3:12 “…and the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another…”

10. Interview your children

Your child is worth knowing. Talk, exchange, observe. Carefully collect any piece of information that paints a portrait of this “heritage of the Lord”. Communicate with the intent to learn, not condemn. Give your child what he/she cannot find anywhere else; “non-judgmental conversation”, and they will keep coming back for more.

Psalm 127:3-5 “Lo, children are a heritage of Jehovah; and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, So are the children of youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be put to shame, When they speak with their enemies in the gate”.

11. Interrogate your friends

Everyone is a well of information. Draw from it. Drop your bucket regularly into that well. Schedule an appointment this week with your three most successful friends. Bring your list of most important questions and get the answers you need.

Proverbs 1:5 “That the wise man may hear, and increase in learning; and that the man of understanding may attain unto sound counsels.”

12. Furnish gentleness

Gentleness is like heat in a cold world. Those around you bear the wounds of rivalry, jealousy and inferiority. Pour the oil of gentleness and you will become their greatest memory of the day.

2 Timothy 2:24 “And the Lord's servant must not strive, but be gentle towards all, apt to teach, forbearing…”

13. Insist on integrity

Integrity is truthfulness. It is doing what you say you will do. Demand it from yourself and reward it in others. Do right by others and God will do right by you.

Romans 12:10 “Love each other as brothers and sisters and honor others more than you do yourself”.

14. Sow affection generously

Hospital tests have proven that even babies will never fully develop and in many cases die if they do not receive touching and loving affection. You are not an exception. Reach out to someone today. Touch..., hug…

1 Thessalonians 2:8 “So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us”.

15. Reprove with sensitivity

Criticism hurts, even when you give it in love. Yet, it is your personal responsibility to provide caution, correction and warnings when someone you love is on the brink of disaster. Your instruction is their opportunity for promotion from God.

Proverbs 13:18 “Poverty and shame shall be to him that refuseth instruction: but he that regardeth reproof shall be honored”.

Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim