Timism of the day: She hates me.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Intercepting Entropy
Timism of the day: Intercepting Entropy:
• Ortberg shares how Max Depree was asked the most difficult thing he had to work on. He replied: "It's the interception of entropy."
• Entropy is a term from physics that has something to do with the second law of thermodynamics and the availability of energy. It speaks to the fact that the universe is winding down.
• For this message, here's the loose definition that we're using for entropy: everything that is left to itself has a tendency to deteriorate.
Entropy is a great enemy of the human spirit.
• Illustration: If you have ever bought a new car and driven it off the lot, or seen a group of kids on summer vacation, you've witnessed entropy.
• Everything when left on its own—when not given attention and energy—has a tendency to deteriorate.
• When you become apathetic or complacent or settle for the path of least resistance in some area of life, entropy sets in and dreams die and hopes fade.
• Then a terrible thing happens: you learn you can live with mediocrity. It's not a great life, but you can tolerate it.
• Entropy is a great enemy of the human spirit.
• The Book of Proverbs says that the wise person is always on the lookout for early signs that entropy is setting in.
• Proverbs 27:23–24 shows us the picture of someone who has livestock and how they need to monitor its condition.
• Everyday you have to be on the lookout for entropy. Though things might have been okay yesterday, that doesn't mean they stay okay forever.
• Put any important area of your life on autopilot, and risk entropy that is both subtle and destructive.
o Illustration: Max Depree has made a list of the signs that entropy is advancing: superficiality, tension in key relationships, no time for celebration and ritual, confusing heroes and celebrities, a loss of gratitude, and a chronic sense of guilt.
• Entropy can damage every area of life: our friendships, our work, our families, our characters, and our finances.
• Entropy can certainly damage a church. When a church first starts, the people dream of being used by God to touch their community. Over time, entropy sets in and the dream dies.
God calls everyone to action in life.
• God's will for the human spirit—for individuals, families, workplaces, and churches—is that it would never suffer entropy.
• Much of the Book of Proverbs deals with this problem.
• Consider Proverbs 24:30–34.
o Illustration: Ortberg's wife took him to Nappa Valley for a romantic getaway. What struck him about the vineyards was all of the thought and action that went into the rows of vines.
• A fruitful, productive vineyard is a thing of beauty. But vineyards don't just happen by themselves. Someone is behind them.
• To understand the angst behind this proverb, you have to understand that in the ancient Middle East, a piece of land capable of growing crops was one of the most valuable things in the world.
• Entropy starts with the failure to comprehend that this is my one and only chance at existence on this planet.
• Everybody gets a "vineyard" in life—a body, a mind, a will, and some relationships.
• God never forces anybody to take action and care for their vineyard.
• The writer of this Proverb says, "I was walking past a vineyard, and I thought of what it might have been."
• It could have been a blessing to everybody around it, because in ancient cultures a place that grew things that people could eat or drink from was a blessing to everybody; sadly, it fell tragically short of what it might have been.
• The writer wonders why: Was there some catastrophe—a drought, flood, or fire?
• It was just sheer negligence on the part of the owner of the vineyard.
• That's the strange power of entropy; it's sheer neglect, and people throw their lives away because of it everyday.
o Illustration: This proverb makes Ortberg think of a man he knows who is not content with his work, but he always has an excuse for why he can't change the situation.
• One proverb says: "Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies lack judgment."
• The proverb is talking about living in reality. I must work in the land that I actually have—my life, my body, and my relationships.
o Illustration: Ortberg has a writer friend who says people ask him how to become a writer. When he tells them the hard work it takes, they say, "No. I just want to write a book and have it sell millions and be rich and famous."
• The writer of Proverbs says we must start with reality. Work the land that is your land—your body, your life, your relationships, your work—because that vineyard is all you have.
• If it's ever going to be different, it won't be because the vineyard fairy comes and sprinkles fairy dust on it. It will be because I asked God, "What's the next step that you want me to take?"
Entropy goes unchallenged in a number of ways.
• We allow entropy to go unchallenged, because we justify it.
• Proverbs 24:30–34: "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest"—and then one day disaster breaks in on you like a bandit.
• Sleep, slumber, folding of the hands to rest—those are all pictures of passivity or inactivity.
• How much longer does the sluggard say it's going to go on? "Just a little while; I'll take action soon." That "little while" turns into weeks and then months and then years.
o Illustration: Ortberg read a story in the L.A. Times about a guy who finds a receipt for a shoe repair from 20 years earlier. He takes it to the repair shop, and the guy at the counter says, "Come back a week from Thursday."
• That's the mind of the sluggard: they don't say, "Never;" they're always saying, "A week from Thursday."
• We do the same thing with our diet, our finances, or our spiritual lives.
• When we say, "A week from Thursday," we give ourselves permission to avoid doing what God is calling us to do today.
• Sometimes we justify inactivity because we tell ourselves we are overwhelmed and fatigued—that we do not have enough energy to do what we know we ought to do.
• Consider Proverbs 26:14: "As a door turns on its hinges, so a sluggard turns on his bed."
o Illustration: It's like a husband sitting on the couch. He should play with his kids or mow the lawn, but he says he doesn't have any energy. Yet when his friend asks him to play golf, suddenly strength and vitality come swooping into his body.
• Proverbs 26:16: "Sluggards are wiser in their own eyes than seven people who answer discretely."
• In the ancient world, seven suggested completeness or fullness.
• The idea of this proverb is that in the sluggard's mind, the rationale for not taking action is always stronger than authentic wisdom.
We all suffer from selective entropy.
• A lot of people would say, "I have problems, but laziness isn't one of them. If anything, my problem is that I'm too busy."
• Most of us suffer from selective entropy. We may be quite active—even hyperactive—in a bunch of areas in our lives, but there's always one vineyard that we don't like to think about despite the fact that the weeds are getting pretty high:
o Illustration: Ortberg shares a number of illustrations about this idea—illustrations concerning family time, a marriage, and a financial crisis.
• So what do we do?
• The writer of Proverbs 6:6 has some advice: "Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise."
• The ant does not require external motivation—no commander, overseer, or ruler applying the whip.
• If you're waiting around for somebody else to get your life into shape—if you expect your boss, parents, teachers, spouse, or friends to make you do the right thing—you're in serious trouble.
• The ant understands the law of opportunity. Even in the summer, the ant stores its provisions.
• Whatever season you are in is reality; it's your vineyard. We have this one life, and it goes so fast that we're surprised by it.
• Here's the good news: though we can never overcome entropy on our own—because it's too much for us—it's not too much for God.
• Part of the law of entropy is that the universe is winding down, and it is irreversible.
• But entropy isn't irreversible to God. Entropy will not get the last word in creation, and it doesn't have to in our lives either.
• If you trust God and take one step of faith in your vineyard, God will help you in such a way that you will think, This isn't nearly as overwhelming as I thought it was.
Where is God calling you to action in your life?
• Where is God calling you to ask him for help and to take action? In your work? In your finances? In your health? In your soul?
• God created the world and then watched as human beings brought sin and death into the picture. God could have said, "Well, that's it. I'll just let entropy take over and let the world go to hell."
• But God wouldn't do that. So he developed the plan expressed in John's gospel: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish"—shall not have entropy take over his life—"but have eternal life."
• Maybe God is showing you that you've never really trusted him with your soul, but always say, "A week from Thursday."
• If you've never told Jesus, "I want you to be my forgiver and the Lord of my life," do it now.
• This is your day. This is your vineyard. This is it. If you take that one step, God really does respond.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Timism of the day: I am no one.
Timism of the day: We are all subjective and interpret the bible in various ways that suit us. No one knows the truth. No one. And, no one can interpret scripture without bias. No one. The reason that i know this is because, i am no one.
Timism of the day: Soft underbelly
Timism of the day: We are relationship oriented creatures. Our life will only be as happy as our relationships are good. Love self. Love others. Let yourself be loved, warts and all. Bear you soft underbelly and just let it happen, you won't be happy until you do.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Timism of the day: Somebody do something!
Timism of the day: I wondered why somebody didn't do something. Then I realized, I am somebody.
Timism of the day: The more i know.
Timism of the day: If there's anything that i know for sure, it's that the more i know, the more i realize i don't know.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Timism of the day: Thingee.
Timism of the day: i say "Thingee" a lot because i think there are too many words already.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Timism of the day: Do you believe in luck?
Timism of the day: i think perhaps there is an equation to success in this world and it looks something like this. They are in a particular order, as one precedes the other, but all must work as a whole for achievement of the goal. It looks something like this: Motivation + Inspiration + Hard Work + Good Timing + Luck + Divine Intervention. Yes, i do believe in luck and that it is a part of the equation. What do you think?
Timsim of the day: Control.
Timism of the day: The one who knows when to ask for help is actually the one who is in the most control.
Timism of the day: Do i need therapy?
Timism of the day: If you have asked yourself if you need therapy or not, then you have likely already answered your question, yes. But, does therapy work?
Countless studies have shown that psychotherapeutic treatment works. The effects have been measured in terms of improved social functioning, relief from anxiety, reductions in depression, and in just about every other way that improvement and effectiveness can be defined.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General: "Mental disorders are treatable ... the evidence for treatment being effective is overwhelming ... the inescapable point is that studies demonstrate conclusively that treatment is effective."
Consumer Reports magazine concluded similarly. In their extensive study, which relied largely on self-reports from patients, 9 out of 10 Americans reported positive benefits. Consumer Reports gave psychological health care a solid endorsement, and noted that treatment by more highly qualified therapists - such as psychologists - was more likely to produce benefits.
But perhaps the best way to measure the outcome is to look at the cost. Dating back some thirty years to a study of 10,000 Kaiser patients, it has been repeatedly demonstrated that psychotherapy is cost effective. Patients who receive treatment reduce their health care utilization to a degree sufficient to entirely "offset" the cost of therapy. Treated patients tend to be healthier and they use less medical care of all types. They spend less days in the hospital when they need care and they visit their physicians less frequently. The reason is that a substantial number of physician visits are essentially motivated by emotional or stress-related problems.
In a series of studies on health insurance, the Rand Corporation found that in any given year, about 10% of the population will suffer from a diagnosable psychological difficulty. One fifth of those people will seek psychotherapeutic care. One fifth will not receive any treatment. And the remaining 60% will visit a physician. But rather than complaining about stress, anxiety or depression, they will complain about pain, sleep problems, stomach distress, problems eating, fatigue, headaches, and so on. They will complain about problems that are known to be directly related to stress.
Business and industry is well-aware of this phenomenon, and that is why Employee Assistance Plans have become standard features in employee benefit packages. Employers know that stress contributes significantly to accidents at work, reduced productivity, over-use of sick time, absenteeism, and increased medical costs.
Employers know that therapeutic services are good for the bottom line. OSHA - the occupational safety and health care administration - has identified stress as one of the top ten workplace safety threats, and one of the most costly if left untreated.
Psychologists have demonstrated that providing access to mental health treatment is one of the very best ways that America can reduce health care costs. This has been known for thirty years in the research literature. Unfortunately, it too often remains unknown to the managed care industry.
So, to answer the question, yes, therapy works.
Countless studies have shown that psychotherapeutic treatment works. The effects have been measured in terms of improved social functioning, relief from anxiety, reductions in depression, and in just about every other way that improvement and effectiveness can be defined.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General: "Mental disorders are treatable ... the evidence for treatment being effective is overwhelming ... the inescapable point is that studies demonstrate conclusively that treatment is effective."
Consumer Reports magazine concluded similarly. In their extensive study, which relied largely on self-reports from patients, 9 out of 10 Americans reported positive benefits. Consumer Reports gave psychological health care a solid endorsement, and noted that treatment by more highly qualified therapists - such as psychologists - was more likely to produce benefits.
But perhaps the best way to measure the outcome is to look at the cost. Dating back some thirty years to a study of 10,000 Kaiser patients, it has been repeatedly demonstrated that psychotherapy is cost effective. Patients who receive treatment reduce their health care utilization to a degree sufficient to entirely "offset" the cost of therapy. Treated patients tend to be healthier and they use less medical care of all types. They spend less days in the hospital when they need care and they visit their physicians less frequently. The reason is that a substantial number of physician visits are essentially motivated by emotional or stress-related problems.
In a series of studies on health insurance, the Rand Corporation found that in any given year, about 10% of the population will suffer from a diagnosable psychological difficulty. One fifth of those people will seek psychotherapeutic care. One fifth will not receive any treatment. And the remaining 60% will visit a physician. But rather than complaining about stress, anxiety or depression, they will complain about pain, sleep problems, stomach distress, problems eating, fatigue, headaches, and so on. They will complain about problems that are known to be directly related to stress.
Business and industry is well-aware of this phenomenon, and that is why Employee Assistance Plans have become standard features in employee benefit packages. Employers know that stress contributes significantly to accidents at work, reduced productivity, over-use of sick time, absenteeism, and increased medical costs.
Employers know that therapeutic services are good for the bottom line. OSHA - the occupational safety and health care administration - has identified stress as one of the top ten workplace safety threats, and one of the most costly if left untreated.
Psychologists have demonstrated that providing access to mental health treatment is one of the very best ways that America can reduce health care costs. This has been known for thirty years in the research literature. Unfortunately, it too often remains unknown to the managed care industry.
So, to answer the question, yes, therapy works.
Timism of the day: O Pastor
Timism of the day: My favorite Portugeuse singer for you. Madredeus - O Pastor
Timism of the day: I will not take these things for granted.
Timism of the day: I will not take these things for granted.
Timism of the day: Somewhere i have never traveled.
Timism of the day: Somewhere i have never traveled.
Timism of the day: i carry your heart with me.
Timism of the day: i carry your heart with me. Although, to whom this is intended, she may never hear this. i must still say it. Sometimes, people take a piece of you and whatever happens, still, they leave a piece of themself as well.
Timism of the day: To all the Barry Manilow fans.
Timism of the day: Here's to all the Barry Manilow fans out there.
Timism of the day: The pain of change.
Timism of the day: "When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, then it's time to change".
Timism of the day: There is ALWAYS choice.
Timism of the day: There is always choice...ALWAYS. If you can't go under the wall, around the wall, over the wall, or through the wall, then there is always the choice to change your perspective of the wall. Hope this finds you all happy, at peace and living life LARGE!!! Remember, the grass may be greener on the other side, but you still have to mow it.
Timism of the day: Be a safe place.
Timism of the day: Ever tried to really find the strengths in people? It's so easy to see weakness, but press on to find the strengths and you will become a lighthouse, an anchore, and when they become weak, they will come to you...a safe place to remind them of what's so special about them. This my friends is how to make friends, keep friends and never be alone. If only we were all more like this.
Timism of the day: Guilty as charged.
Timism of the day: Today i need to hear this and say this to myself as a positive affirmation over and over again. Proverbs 3:5,6 - "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean NOT on your own understanding, ackowledge Him in all things and He will make your path straight." i think i try much to hard to understand and lean on my own understanding when i could be working on my trusting and acknowledgeing, which are the operative words in this passage. Guilty as charged. This is where i'm at...hope it helps someone else out there.
Timism of the day: Never take yourself too seriously.
Timism of the day: In-spite of the cold, rainy weather, what a luxurious day I've had. Days like these are made for great books and good coffee, which I like to call "The nectar of awareness". Good company would have been a plus, but then again, like the cowboys, that's another story. Anyways, I'm a Packers fan....Don't be hating!!! The word for today is: NEVER TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY! Till next time.
Timism of the day: Heal Thyself.
Timism of the day: i used to have back problems for years and years and years and prayed for healing for years and years and years, then one day i found out about Pilates before anyone really knew what it was. i read the original Pilates book by Joseph Pilates, which was originally called "Contrology" and just began to attempt the exercises. i haven't had back problems in years, just doing the mat exercises. Would highly recommend it to anyone. Heal thyself. This was, in my opinion just as much of a divine intervention and a revelation as anything that could have happened instantaneously.
Timism of the day: You are the company that you keep.
Timism of the day: Coffee is only as good as the company your sharing it with. Today I heard from an old friend from college, I mean a "real" friend. Thus, the word for today is: Make friends, you are the company that you keep and in the end, your friends and family will really be all that matters.
Timism of the day: 8 seconds.
Timism of the day: Did you know that we make our first impressions within about 8 seconds. It's a survival technique as our brains #1 job is to keep us alive. So every time you meet someone, walk into a room etc,.. your brain's intuitive ear assesses the environment. Problem is, the rational creatures that we are spend much of our time trying to reason ourselves out of what we already know.
Timism of the day: Two sets of footprints.
Timism: The story of the footprints in the sand is often misunderstood with emphasis placed on there being one set of footprints when God intervenes. But what about the two sets of footprints? We often forget that we are expected to help ourselves given our gifts, talents, and resources as much as humanly possible, then... perhaps divine intervention. This is as much an intricate part of the story as the intervention.
Timism of the day: If you don't like the way you feel.
Timism of the day. If you don't like the way you feel, or your actions, you have to change the way you think.
Timism of the day: The kiss that will end life as i know it.
Timism of the day: We are all wanting that kiss that will end life as we know it. i am sure many of you have had that experience and are living it. If so, please tell your significant other today just that: "Your kisses have ended my life as I once knew it etc... As for me...once or twice... i was married for 15 years. Operative word, "was"...now wondering if it will ever happen again, the kiss, that is.
Timism of the day: In-spite of you.
Timism of the day: Intimacy is when someone cares about you, in-spite of you...
In-spite of your wrong doings, in-spite of your inconsistencies. It's about making oneself vulnerable, baring your soft underbelly, trusting and being trusted, investing valuable time, making that extra effort, living without expecting something in return and feeling close, safe and connected to someone.
In-spite of your wrong doings, in-spite of your inconsistencies. It's about making oneself vulnerable, baring your soft underbelly, trusting and being trusted, investing valuable time, making that extra effort, living without expecting something in return and feeling close, safe and connected to someone.
Timism of the day: Lance and Laziness.
Timism of the day: "Most mental health issues have their root in laziness and the desire to escape legitimate suffering." Lance Armstrong was once asked what the toughest thing was that he had to deal with in his life and his answer, much to the interviewer's dismay and much to my delight was his response..."Laziness". Hard to believe, but true, even with the Iron Man.
Timism of the day: Most Mental Health Issues.
Timism of the day: Most mental health issues stem from an innate belief that the Yankees are truly the best baseball team in the world, yet are unwilling to admit it.
Timism of the day: If your life were a story.
Timism of the day: If your life were a story, what type would it be? Narrative, springboard, secret, pop-up book, comic, anti-story, phenomenon, triumphant, macabre, rumor, reckoning, explanation, a report, tall tale, relation, recital, a happening, legendary, fictitious, literary composition, chronicle, historical, account, play, horror, G, PG, R, XXX,anecdote, definite knowledge, private affairs, confessional, pejorative, joke, punch line, amusing trick, fable, moral lesson, parable, religious lesson, myth, a phenomenon, legend, prose or poetry, novel, novella, epic, heroic, drama, human conflict, dialogue, action, a performance, tragedy, serious, typical, disastrous, fate,tragic flaw, psychological maladjustment, comedy, burlesque, farce, slapstick, and horseplay, witty, exaggerated, unlikely, parody, satire, ridicule and contempt, academic, protagonist, a plot, a turning point, resolution, fact, Fiction and Fantasies, deep, narrator, strategy, scheme, linking, minimalist, detective, romance, quasi-theological, predetermined etc...?
Timism of the day: Our 5, oops, i mean 6 needs.
Timism of the day: Happiness is not pursuable in-and-of itself, it is a byproduct of balancing your five needs of Power, Freedom, Love and Belonging, Security and Fun. Question is, is that all of our needs? Could we add purpose perhaps, as the pursuit of pleasure and the avoidance of pain does not bring happiness alone, we must have purpose. This is my quandary. i think there are six needs. What do you think?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Timism of the day: What people say about you.
Timism of the day: What people say about you is really more about them than it is about you. Consider the source.
Timism of the day: No rest for the wicked.
Timism of the day: There's no rest for the wicked because the righteous doesn't leave any.
Timism of the day: You're NOT a Sociopath.
Timisim of the day: Do you have feelings of guilt or remorse? If so, good. At least you're not a sociopath. The closest they come to guilt or remorse is getting caught. However, for us normal folk, remorse is the healthy version of the two. With guilt, you realize the wrong, but internalize it as due to your being a bad person. Remorse is realizing the wrong, that you're a fallible human being and learning from it.
Timism of the day: Kleptomaniac's.
Timism of the Day: There is no such thing as a Kleptomaniac. A so called "Kleptomaniac" is actually someone who has mentally rehearsed something so much that they literally have hardwired their brain to a compulsive state, which really seems to be a spontaneous event, but is really just laziness and an unwillingness to take responsibility. There's always choice. Always.
Timism of the day: You people and black T's = The Occult?
Timism of the day: Young people and black T's = The Occult?
Timism of the Day: We are all self-destructive by nature. We can stop some things, but can only slow others down or reverse them. Thing is every diet has a cheat day. Every workout regime has a rest day and we all have a vice. Mine is Starbucks. The Nectar of Awareness. So, to everyone out there...What's your vice?
Timism of the day: It's all about words and pictures.
Timism of the day: If you don't like what your feeling and doing, you have to change the way that you're thinking. It's really all about words (internal dialogue) and pictures (quality world). It's amazing what we say to ourselves and emotionally respond to that would be fighting words if someone else said it to us.
Timism of the day: Just BE!
Timism of the day: Go for long walks,indulge in hot baths. Question your assumptions, Be kind to yourself, live for the moment, Loosen up, scream, curse the world, count your blessings, just let go, JUST BE!
Timism of the day: Fear That!
Timism of the Day: Fear can often be a gift. It's a precursor to faith and to courage. It's a mistake to label it as evil or wrong. Every emotion has it's place in survival. Fear simply makes us more aware of a potentially dangerous situation, however too much fear leads to fear based disorders such as anxiety and phobias. Did you know that fear based disorders went up 40% after 911. An even scarier thought is that our national debt is at 8 trillion now and goes up 83 billion per day. Fear that.
Timism of the day: Explain it 5 times.
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?' The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?' The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. 'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?' The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
Timism of the day: Why can't we look the other way?
Timism of the day: Why can't we look the other way? Sometimes a song says it better than i can.
Timism of the day: How can i make a woman truly happy?
Timism of the day: A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind?” The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy. “The Lord replied, do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?”See More
Timism of the day: Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.
Timism of the day: If only i could be harder, better, faster, stonger. If only.
Timism of the day: Prayer works, even if God didn't exist.
Timism of the Day: Prayer would work much the same, even if God did not exist. I am constantly trying to teach and remind clients of the power that they have and that attending to the moment by paying attention to their body language, keeping a journal and asking yourself daily when you give yourself a little "me" time, "How am I doing? How do I feel? Why? Is that rational and if so, what can I do about it today? If it's not rational, then why am I dwelling on it and letting it affect me. Good thing is, prayer works even better when God does exist. He does.
Timism of the day: Well, somebodies got to worry about it!
Timism of the day: Eudor Welty stated, "I am a writer who came of a sheltered life. A sheltered life can be a daring life as well. For all serious daring starts from within." Regardless of your beginnings may they be ever so humble, abusive, abrasive or you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, the choice to embrace your fears, not obsess over them and to use them to move you to a place of courage is just that...A CHOICE TO BE DARING, which comes from within. There is always choice. May we all live daring lives this coming year. Be adventurous, try new things, stop the worry and live a life of courage. To worry is to choose to imagine all the worst possible scenarios in your head. Now why would anyone choose to do that? Makes no sense, yet people do it every day and for many, all day and feel justified in doing so. My own mother used to say, "Well somebodies got to worry about it!!!" Worry never did anyone any good whatsoever. Although often confused as the same thing, there is a difference between worry and good common sense planning and controlling what you can control. Again, it's all about words and pictures. If you say it, then you must see it, making it much more likely to happen or at least make the ride a whole lot less fun not only for you, but all those around you.
Timism of the day: The Yin and Yang of it.
Timism of the Day: If we are going to be judged for anything this year, it will be as to what we do with our time, talents and as to how we treat people. Make this year the year that you're cool to the pizza delivery dude (tip well my friends) as he's just trying to do an honest days work, embrace your natural gifts/strengths and talents as opposed to obsessing over your weaknesses, and use your time wisely. Remember, you are what you are when no ones looking. Strive each day to do something special for someone without getting caught. Ya get caught or ya brag about it and ya jinx it. It's the year of the yin and the yang.
Timism of the day: My favorite color.
Timism of the day: My favorite color is plaid...well either that or velcro, can't decide.
Timism of the day: Enough habits already.
Timism of the day: And, why does Stephen R. Covey keep trying to sale us his habitual behavior books? His son has habit books for teens. Enough habits already.
:-) :-) :-) :-) Sorry, it would seem that I have a funny face habit. :-) oops, sorry. :-) sorry, and a habit of saying sorry. Sorry bout that. :-)
:-) :-) :-) :-) Sorry, it would seem that I have a funny face habit. :-) oops, sorry. :-) sorry, and a habit of saying sorry. Sorry bout that. :-)
Timism of the day: Jesus did a Clint Eastwood.
Timism of the day: Did you know that being cool is very Jesus like. Ever notice in the Story of the Wind and the Waves such as in Mark 4:35…that Jesus spoke to the winds and the waves and they were still. Emphasis on "spoke" …how cool is that? He did a Clint Eastwood…A Cool Hand Luke. He could’ve done like so many of u...s do when we are responding to fear and yelled and bitched, moaned and complained…awfulized, catastrophized, and Generalized, which is exactly what the disciples did when they woke Him from the sleep of the kittens. They didn’t say, “Teacher, could you help?” no they said, “Teacher don’t you care?” in an accusatory tone, a bossy tone with an edge to it as if to really say, “Do something about it!!!” but no, He did a Clint Eastwood and He spoke. That trumps J.F. Hutton any day. What do you do when faced with fear? Do you get angry, anxious, bossy, passive, submissive, withdrawing? Do you become a control junkie, do you yell and rant and rave, or do you speak with the faith and the knowledge that you have such power through Christ Jesus. Once you realize that power, and you show calm in the midst of the storms, winds and waves of your life, you will have people do just as they did to Jesus once he spoke calm into the Wind and the Waves. And they said, “What kind of man is this?!” This is what will happen to you as people watch you this year, the Clint Eastwood’s and the Cool Hand Luke’s of the world; they will say this about you... WHAT KIND OF MAN IS THIS! WHAT KIND OF WOMAN IS THIS? Yes, being cool is very Jesus like. Take it, test it, and teach it.
Timism of the day: Thinking.
Timism of the day: i am is just sitting here thinking and surprisingly it doesn't hurt too much. :-)
Timism of the day: This coffee, this company.
Timism of the Day: The coffee is only as good as the company you're keeping.
Timism of the day: If this were your last day.
Timism of the day: The timism of the day is posed as three questions. If this were your last day to live:
1)What would you want me to know? (Because it might be mine)
2) Who would you call? (Because there's probably unfinished business there) and,
3) What are you waiting for? (It may be your last,..one never knows).
Live each day with diligence. Take care of confilcts as they happen. Pay attention to time/timeing, and your use of it, and in your life, your field of harvest will NOT be observed as having seed and thorn and wreckage, but rather fruit of your liking.
1)What would you want me to know? (Because it might be mine)
2) Who would you call? (Because there's probably unfinished business there) and,
3) What are you waiting for? (It may be your last,..one never knows).
Live each day with diligence. Take care of confilcts as they happen. Pay attention to time/timeing, and your use of it, and in your life, your field of harvest will NOT be observed as having seed and thorn and wreckage, but rather fruit of your liking.
Timism of the day: Busy people.
Timism of the Day: If you want something done and need some help, ask a busy person and it will get done. Ask someone who has plenty of time on their hands and they will come up with every excuse under the sun. Funny how life is.
Timism of the day: Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.
Timism of the Day: Procrastinators are really perfectionist's. The tendency is to wait until the last minute so that there is an excuse just in the unlikely case that they will not get something done perfectly. This is a thinking error and looks the opposite of what it actually is. The sloppiest, most procrastinating and sometimes irritating people are often just not going to do something unless they can do it right, or perfectly, which is an impossibility and a setup...I ought to know I are one. :-) Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly!
Timism of the day: The better drummer.
Timism of the day: A great drummer can sometimes make my day. i can't pick which one i like better, can you?
Timism of the day: 10 irrational beliefs that will ruin your relationships.
Timism of The Day: Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't man who created relationships, but rather God. Thus, we are relationship oriented creatures by nature, however, the following are irrational beliefs that we take into our relationships that are ultimately setups for failure:
1) My partner will never do anything to hurt me.
2) My partner will sense what I need without my telling him or her.
3) My partner will never be sexually attracted to anyone else.
4) If my partner truly loves me, he or she will always try to please us.
5) Love means never being angry or disappointed with each other.
6) The thought of ending our relationship will never cross either of our minds.
7) Our sexual relationship will always be exciting.
8) My partner will always be honest, open, and direct with me.
9) My partner will always respect, understand, and accept me no matter what I say or do.
10) My relationship with my partner will meet all my needs. Now, don't be hatin...just speaking a little truth as i see it.
1) My partner will never do anything to hurt me.
2) My partner will sense what I need without my telling him or her.
3) My partner will never be sexually attracted to anyone else.
4) If my partner truly loves me, he or she will always try to please us.
5) Love means never being angry or disappointed with each other.
6) The thought of ending our relationship will never cross either of our minds.
7) Our sexual relationship will always be exciting.
8) My partner will always be honest, open, and direct with me.
9) My partner will always respect, understand, and accept me no matter what I say or do.
10) My relationship with my partner will meet all my needs. Now, don't be hatin...just speaking a little truth as i see it.
Timism of the day: The right to be confused.
Timism of The Day: Did you know that you have an attitude towards everything? Contrary to popular belief, there's more than right or wrong, yes or know, true or false. Fact of the matter is there are four attitudes: 1) True 2) False 3) Neutral 4) Confused. You don't have to pick sides. Don't try and be black or wh...ite in a grey world. You have just as much right to be neutral (Don't care or whatever) and Confused (meaning, I don't have enough information...). People who feel strongly for or against something will tend to act aggressively towards you if you feel neutral towards something they are adamant about. If you're confused, they will typically feel as if they need to educate you. Caution! STAND YOUR GROUND. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE NEUTRAL OR CONFUSED. It's funny, but I never thought I would have to fight for the right to NOT have an opinion, or to be confused, but one is particularly vulnerable during these times, especially around those who are passionate towards their cause or belief. If you strive to be assertive, your opinion is just as important as anyone else’s and thus at times, that may very well mean to have no opinion at all or to opt out due to incomplete or confusing information. YOU’VE GOT A RIGHT TO FIGHT FOR YOUR RIGHT TO BE NEUTRAL AND CONFUSED!
Timism of the day: A little inspiration.
Timism of the day: Jeff Buckley. Perhaps one of the greatest albums ever made.
Timism of the day: Definition of Happiness.
Timism of the Day: Since we all aspire towards happiness, although it's not something you can just choose to do and get immediately, rather, it is a byproduct of meeting your needs in a balanced manner. In-so-doing, I often find that people do not have a good definition of happiness. So here's mine. "Happiness or Mental Health is enjoying the life you are choosing to live, getting along well with the people near and dear to you, doing something with your life you believe is worthwhile and NOT doing anything to deprive anyone else of the same chance for happiness that you have." Notice the operative words here 1)choice 2)relationships 3)Purpose
4)Assertiveness. There ya go, a clear definition and Four ingredients towards a happy lifestyle. Let me know how it works for you.
4)Assertiveness. There ya go, a clear definition and Four ingredients towards a happy lifestyle. Let me know how it works for you.
Timism of the day: Stop twice next time.
Timism of the day: I rolled thru a stop sign today as I was in a hurry. I promise to stop twice the next time.
Timism of the day: Feed Me!
Timism of the Day: It may help you to remember that problems are simply just a part of life. The better the problem solver you become, the better quality of life you will likely have. In fact, the core emotion of JOY comes from solving problems and meeting goals. JOY is the only core emotion that is reciprocal, it simply says "Feed Me", or "I want more" and thus gives you the energy to go out and do just that get more, by facing your problems and achieving your goals. I call that momentum in life. In fact it could be said that the more problems that you have, the more opportunities for joy. What do you think about that perspective? Different way of looking at things eh? Go towards your problems, rather than evasion and avoidance, for what...yep, you got it JOY.
Timism of the day: Shame Shame Shame.
Timism of the day: Perhaps when I am most concerned about people is when they feel hopeless. Even when someone is suicidal, I can give them a test that measures suicidal tendencies next to a test that measures hopelessness and the one that will dictate an intervention more than the other is the test for hopelessness. Th...e Rule of Perfectionism: No rule leads to hopelessness more powerfully than this. Since the ideal is a mental creation, it is a fantasy rather than reality. Shame as a healthy human feeling lets us know we are finite and incomplete. Shame lets us know we can make mistakes. Shame tells us that we are always in need of feedback. Shame lets us know we are not God. Shame lets us know we are human. Following the Perfectionism Rule leads to hopelessness because to be perfectly human is to be imperfect. Perfectionism is inhuman.
Timism of the day: On Change.
Timism of The Day: When we are no longer able to change a situation--we are challenged to change ourselves. -Viktor E. Frankl
Timism of the day: Interview with God.
Timism of the day: I usually don’t remember my dreams, but last night, I dreamt I had an interview with God. It went something like this:
God - So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
Me - If you have the time, I said.
God - God smiled. My time is eternity. What questions do you have in mind for me?Me -What surprises you most a...bout humankind?
God - God answered: That they get bored with childhood; they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money, and then lose their money to restore their health.That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.
Me - Then in my dream, God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while. And then I asked, as a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?
God – Well, there are several: To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.
Me - Thank you for your time, I said humbly. Is there anything else you would like your children to know?
God - God smiled and said, just know that I am here... always, and with you always.
Me = I said thanks God, that good to know because, “I DON’T HAVE A VALENTINE TODAY, SO IT’S GOOD TO KNOW I WON’T BE ALONE. YOU AND ME DUDE!
God – God smile a teethy grin and asked, Tim, wanna go play paintball?
Me – Sounds cool, I think Bill and Ted said they were going to be there.
God – Then God said. We shall have a Most Excellent Adventure.
Tim - Then we played air guitar, then jumped on our Harley’s and headed to the paintball field. Then I woke up.
God - So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
Me - If you have the time, I said.
God - God smiled. My time is eternity. What questions do you have in mind for me?Me -What surprises you most a...bout humankind?
God - God answered: That they get bored with childhood; they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money, and then lose their money to restore their health.That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.
Me - Then in my dream, God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while. And then I asked, as a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?
God – Well, there are several: To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.
Me - Thank you for your time, I said humbly. Is there anything else you would like your children to know?
God - God smiled and said, just know that I am here... always, and with you always.
Me = I said thanks God, that good to know because, “I DON’T HAVE A VALENTINE TODAY, SO IT’S GOOD TO KNOW I WON’T BE ALONE. YOU AND ME DUDE!
God – God smile a teethy grin and asked, Tim, wanna go play paintball?
Me – Sounds cool, I think Bill and Ted said they were going to be there.
God – Then God said. We shall have a Most Excellent Adventure.
Tim - Then we played air guitar, then jumped on our Harley’s and headed to the paintball field. Then I woke up.
Timism of the day: Who the hell is Valentine?
Timism of the day: Well, it is that time of the year again, when my ears get tired with the insistence of the daily over-hyped mantra – Happy Valentine`s Day. I should't have waited until the 14th of February before I dropped this article. But I deemed it necessary to share some thoughts with you. For those so curious to read this I suggest you refrain from judging, or accusing me of being biased. Not that I am single or not single, but just that I got this knack for seeing things with what I call my "Third Eye" before resolving to doing it.So if you are ready to ride with me, then grab a flute of Moet & Chandon (my favorite champagne) or a glass of your favorite wine, and let`s go. What?... Oh! You don`t take alcohol? Ok. Then I recommend some natural fruit juice, Guava juice is the best. THE ORIGIN OF VALENTINE'S DAY...WHO THE HELL IS ST.VALENTINE?
I have conducted a research on the origin of this St. Valentine`s Day. I am one of those people who never want to stick with the herd, or one of those who do not want to feel like they are being manoeuvred by some folks who think they can feed our minds with whatever stuff they want to feed our minds with. Note that this is far from the fact that I want to make some guys feel daunted. But I think none of us should get trapped into acting under coercion. Amidst the numerous stories surrounding this day, I think the origin of Valentine`s Day is still very misty.
Stand forth, let us together get some answers and clear out this clutter because I for one cannot put up with this ambiguity any longer. What is the origin of Valentine`s day? Is this day worth commemorating? How should we and why should we celebrate it? First stop; let us probe into the various stories that define the origin of this day.Who was Valentine? This question is not an easy one to answer. Depending on which source you refer to, you might find one author making the case that there were two different men named Valentine whose lives were mixed together to form one legend, and another arguing that two different legends arose about the same man. Even still another author might say that there were three men named Valentine. Here are other synopses of different stories... Valentine as a young man, though not yet a believer in Jesus Christ, helped Christians during a time of persecution. He was caught and put in jail, became a believer there and was clubbed to death for this on February 14, 269. While in prison he is said to have sent messages to friends saying, "Remember your Valentine" and "I love you". It is also said that Valentine was a priest that secretly married couples, defying the law of Emperor Claudius who temporarily forbade marriages. Valentine was imprisoned for his faithfulness to Jesus and refusing to worship pagan gods. Making friends with the jailer’s daughter, he is said to have seen her healed through prayer, and on the date of his execution (Feb. 14th) he is said to written her a note signed "Your Valentine". On February 14 it was also believed that the young boys and girls of the villages would write down the names of every girl and place these names in a jar of which each young man would have to draw a name of a girl and this particular maiden would be their partner for the duration of the festival. Sometimes these parings would last a year and end up in marriage.Another Interesting origin is that St Valentine was the patron Saint of Epilepsy - reason was that he was supposedly a sufferer and took a keen interest in those who suffered from this affliction and also that those who suffered this disease were suffering from Valentine's sickness. (Can you believe this?) St Valentine's Day has roots in several different legends that have found their way to us through the ages. But whatever the odd mixture of origins, St Valentine's Day is now a day of romance, a day for sweethearts. It is the day that you show your friend or loved one that you care. But do you know what? I will not even want to insist on grasping some more knowledge about the origin of this day, because I think that now that we are all into it, insisting on getting the exact meaning of the day is derisory. Of course, love is the farthest reaching dream and I dare to say the most relevant, most evidential, most powerful dream of all. At some point in all our lives, we have known love, be it filial or erotic. We either showed love, or we have been loved. Love is the dream that is real, even when we have experienced the world of it, the end of it, the betrayal of it; it is evident that love remains inside of everything. A dream that comes true, it wants to exist, it does exist, it is all around us all the time. How Should We Commemorate This Day Of Love? My address here goes especially to the young world. Not that I am ostracizing the older generation, but I am considering the fact that we young people have gotten a lot of energy we sometimes dissipate and orientate towards the wrong direction.
This day for sure should direct our focus towards the things that really matter not to us, but to those who need us so badly. Hey ladies catch your breadths o.k. because I know you really need that fancy silky lingerie you have been yearning for a while now and I am not going to take your sweetheart`s attention off it. You know why? Let me tell you why. I am not going to join those people who think that Valentine`s day is just a farce! My concern though is the meaning you give to it. How you spend it. I believe that everything on earth has got a purpose for existence, so is this day. But I do not want to think that this day has turned into a multi-million dollar industry, with an overwhelming number of cards, presents and even holidays being sold the world over to celebrate it. Neither do I want to see it as a plot by multinationals to impose Western culture elsewhere and increase their sales. Because if this is so, it is going to be not far from an abhorrent craze. In my opinion, this day should not be a day to show off that kind of “I got mine” attitude, giving it a connotation or a tendency to marginalize those who are unattached, forcing them into estrangement.Why would a couple need a special day to be told they are loved, to be showered gifts, cards, candies and other things? What about the 364 other perfectly good days of the year? Why does the world have to stop on ‘this day of love’ to show love? A day where people show "their loved ones'" the extent and deepness of their feelings for each other by purchasing lame gifts that resemble something "warm and fuzzy" like jewelleries, flowers, chocolates or pitiful stuffed toys, teddy bears etc. I do not need a card or some overpriced flowers from “the heart of my heart” to know that he got the keys that would unlock my heart! Because trust me babies, he or she might shower you with what will leave you speechless, but his or her heart might be panting for another target. Ladies, permit me to address you most especially because of my gender status. I think it is your birthright that your sweeties show you love every day of the goddamn year. Why will he not take you to that week-end at the five-star hotel you so much admire on the 20th of June? He could also take you on that shopping spree on the 14th of October! And why not lavish you with the Mark &Spencer jewellery on the 2nd of May? Has he got just the 14th of February to do something that says “I Love You?” Come on… Just that kiss you get every morning, pretty inexpensive in your mind, but invaluable in terms of love because a true show of love comes from the heart, not the wallet. And who cares? If you love someone, tell them, show them NOW. No time like the present. Waiting for some day that was labelled Valentine`s Day just conforms to some silly old tradition. How I wish it was called Lionel`s Day or Ruth’s Day or Kwame`s Day, why not Tim`s day… give it your name! And on this same day card manufacturers would sell more cards in a slow quarter of the financial year. The event has become a commercial cycle, every year, some of the best Valentine`s Day ideas cost as much as the school fees of an orphan per year, or a dying patient in the hospital who cannot afford his medications!
Fellas, let us not enjoy being brainwashed into buying a load of tat that you don't really want, to give to someone who also doesn't really want it, in some vain attempt to quell your guilt-trip and demonstrate to someone that you care about them.
LOVE IS GIVING, GIVING and GIVING. Let us bear this in mind that affecting the people who really need us is like building a house on solid ground. Bringing joy and happiness in the life of each other even in the very modest way matters so much because love has no price. So on this Valentine`s Day, I challenge you to go to www.worldvision.org and see how you can impact the lives of those kids in Haiti who go about naked and hungry in the streets, dining with flies.Those breast-feeding moms who cannot even afford milk to drink for their babies. Am I even supposed to be telling you this? You all are aware. So the love month I guess is the month of positive actions. I challenge you to make your life meaningful, by visiting those hospitals, orphanages and those communities that cannot afford for their most basic necessities as potable drinking water. While you are thinking of getting extremely intimate with your lover and maybe unleashing the wolf that is in you on that Valentine`s Day night, first think about those who cannot be what and where you are right now. Those who cannot own what you got. Think about creating a name for yourself, think about impacting people`s life for the best. It is February, the month for most of the awards around the globe, what prize are you working towards winning? What prizes are you going to win? Are you loving yourself by taking yourself to the apex of the ladder of life or are you loving yourself by following the masses thus remaining on that same spot year in and year out?Still in this amorous month of February, the legend, African Hero of all times, Nelson Mandela celebrated his freedom from prison with the loves of his life. How do you relate this to your personal life? To what extent would you show love, not to some narcissistic guy or some gold digger of a girl that will jilt you as soon as you turn away from them, but to an entire community, to an entire nation, to an entire world? Think about this, as we celebrate the freedom of the world`s mentor, do not stay back, entangled in a mental prison. Be free, and let your freedom make you soar to unbelievable dimensions and carry your loved ones along on your wings. I do not even want to talk about the Valentine`s Day that is called Chocolate Day in Ghana - a day for boosting the sales of cocoa products.I just hope that the money I use to buy chocolate which I take every morning is used properly, channelled to a worthwhile destination, and used for valuable purpose. Girls, you should take this chocolate issue very seriously, eat it every morning and tell me how it boosts not only your entire shine, but your physique too. Plus the world is looking forward to curb violence against girls and women through an organization called V-Day. It is all in the love month! Guys, find out how you can make the world a better place like paradise.Show love to the entire world and more specifically, show love EVERYDAY to that one who is capable of making your breathe stop, if you have such a person. In conclusion, permit me share with you the words of Ashton Kutcher, the American movie producer and actor who in his confession to People Magazine early this February said; “I hate Valentine`s Day. I think everyday should be a day of romance, then, on Valentine`s Day you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them. There will be one day of hating, and 364 days of love.” I really want to wish a happy Valentine`s Day to the president of the Republic of South Africa, Jacob Zuma. I wonder how he is going to spend the day - with which of the girls??? Myriads of kisses, Happy Valentine`s Day to all of you.
I have conducted a research on the origin of this St. Valentine`s Day. I am one of those people who never want to stick with the herd, or one of those who do not want to feel like they are being manoeuvred by some folks who think they can feed our minds with whatever stuff they want to feed our minds with. Note that this is far from the fact that I want to make some guys feel daunted. But I think none of us should get trapped into acting under coercion. Amidst the numerous stories surrounding this day, I think the origin of Valentine`s Day is still very misty.
Stand forth, let us together get some answers and clear out this clutter because I for one cannot put up with this ambiguity any longer. What is the origin of Valentine`s day? Is this day worth commemorating? How should we and why should we celebrate it? First stop; let us probe into the various stories that define the origin of this day.Who was Valentine? This question is not an easy one to answer. Depending on which source you refer to, you might find one author making the case that there were two different men named Valentine whose lives were mixed together to form one legend, and another arguing that two different legends arose about the same man. Even still another author might say that there were three men named Valentine. Here are other synopses of different stories... Valentine as a young man, though not yet a believer in Jesus Christ, helped Christians during a time of persecution. He was caught and put in jail, became a believer there and was clubbed to death for this on February 14, 269. While in prison he is said to have sent messages to friends saying, "Remember your Valentine" and "I love you". It is also said that Valentine was a priest that secretly married couples, defying the law of Emperor Claudius who temporarily forbade marriages. Valentine was imprisoned for his faithfulness to Jesus and refusing to worship pagan gods. Making friends with the jailer’s daughter, he is said to have seen her healed through prayer, and on the date of his execution (Feb. 14th) he is said to written her a note signed "Your Valentine". On February 14 it was also believed that the young boys and girls of the villages would write down the names of every girl and place these names in a jar of which each young man would have to draw a name of a girl and this particular maiden would be their partner for the duration of the festival. Sometimes these parings would last a year and end up in marriage.Another Interesting origin is that St Valentine was the patron Saint of Epilepsy - reason was that he was supposedly a sufferer and took a keen interest in those who suffered from this affliction and also that those who suffered this disease were suffering from Valentine's sickness. (Can you believe this?) St Valentine's Day has roots in several different legends that have found their way to us through the ages. But whatever the odd mixture of origins, St Valentine's Day is now a day of romance, a day for sweethearts. It is the day that you show your friend or loved one that you care. But do you know what? I will not even want to insist on grasping some more knowledge about the origin of this day, because I think that now that we are all into it, insisting on getting the exact meaning of the day is derisory. Of course, love is the farthest reaching dream and I dare to say the most relevant, most evidential, most powerful dream of all. At some point in all our lives, we have known love, be it filial or erotic. We either showed love, or we have been loved. Love is the dream that is real, even when we have experienced the world of it, the end of it, the betrayal of it; it is evident that love remains inside of everything. A dream that comes true, it wants to exist, it does exist, it is all around us all the time. How Should We Commemorate This Day Of Love? My address here goes especially to the young world. Not that I am ostracizing the older generation, but I am considering the fact that we young people have gotten a lot of energy we sometimes dissipate and orientate towards the wrong direction.
This day for sure should direct our focus towards the things that really matter not to us, but to those who need us so badly. Hey ladies catch your breadths o.k. because I know you really need that fancy silky lingerie you have been yearning for a while now and I am not going to take your sweetheart`s attention off it. You know why? Let me tell you why. I am not going to join those people who think that Valentine`s day is just a farce! My concern though is the meaning you give to it. How you spend it. I believe that everything on earth has got a purpose for existence, so is this day. But I do not want to think that this day has turned into a multi-million dollar industry, with an overwhelming number of cards, presents and even holidays being sold the world over to celebrate it. Neither do I want to see it as a plot by multinationals to impose Western culture elsewhere and increase their sales. Because if this is so, it is going to be not far from an abhorrent craze. In my opinion, this day should not be a day to show off that kind of “I got mine” attitude, giving it a connotation or a tendency to marginalize those who are unattached, forcing them into estrangement.Why would a couple need a special day to be told they are loved, to be showered gifts, cards, candies and other things? What about the 364 other perfectly good days of the year? Why does the world have to stop on ‘this day of love’ to show love? A day where people show "their loved ones'" the extent and deepness of their feelings for each other by purchasing lame gifts that resemble something "warm and fuzzy" like jewelleries, flowers, chocolates or pitiful stuffed toys, teddy bears etc. I do not need a card or some overpriced flowers from “the heart of my heart” to know that he got the keys that would unlock my heart! Because trust me babies, he or she might shower you with what will leave you speechless, but his or her heart might be panting for another target. Ladies, permit me to address you most especially because of my gender status. I think it is your birthright that your sweeties show you love every day of the goddamn year. Why will he not take you to that week-end at the five-star hotel you so much admire on the 20th of June? He could also take you on that shopping spree on the 14th of October! And why not lavish you with the Mark &Spencer jewellery on the 2nd of May? Has he got just the 14th of February to do something that says “I Love You?” Come on… Just that kiss you get every morning, pretty inexpensive in your mind, but invaluable in terms of love because a true show of love comes from the heart, not the wallet. And who cares? If you love someone, tell them, show them NOW. No time like the present. Waiting for some day that was labelled Valentine`s Day just conforms to some silly old tradition. How I wish it was called Lionel`s Day or Ruth’s Day or Kwame`s Day, why not Tim`s day… give it your name! And on this same day card manufacturers would sell more cards in a slow quarter of the financial year. The event has become a commercial cycle, every year, some of the best Valentine`s Day ideas cost as much as the school fees of an orphan per year, or a dying patient in the hospital who cannot afford his medications!
Fellas, let us not enjoy being brainwashed into buying a load of tat that you don't really want, to give to someone who also doesn't really want it, in some vain attempt to quell your guilt-trip and demonstrate to someone that you care about them.
LOVE IS GIVING, GIVING and GIVING. Let us bear this in mind that affecting the people who really need us is like building a house on solid ground. Bringing joy and happiness in the life of each other even in the very modest way matters so much because love has no price. So on this Valentine`s Day, I challenge you to go to www.worldvision.org and see how you can impact the lives of those kids in Haiti who go about naked and hungry in the streets, dining with flies.Those breast-feeding moms who cannot even afford milk to drink for their babies. Am I even supposed to be telling you this? You all are aware. So the love month I guess is the month of positive actions. I challenge you to make your life meaningful, by visiting those hospitals, orphanages and those communities that cannot afford for their most basic necessities as potable drinking water. While you are thinking of getting extremely intimate with your lover and maybe unleashing the wolf that is in you on that Valentine`s Day night, first think about those who cannot be what and where you are right now. Those who cannot own what you got. Think about creating a name for yourself, think about impacting people`s life for the best. It is February, the month for most of the awards around the globe, what prize are you working towards winning? What prizes are you going to win? Are you loving yourself by taking yourself to the apex of the ladder of life or are you loving yourself by following the masses thus remaining on that same spot year in and year out?Still in this amorous month of February, the legend, African Hero of all times, Nelson Mandela celebrated his freedom from prison with the loves of his life. How do you relate this to your personal life? To what extent would you show love, not to some narcissistic guy or some gold digger of a girl that will jilt you as soon as you turn away from them, but to an entire community, to an entire nation, to an entire world? Think about this, as we celebrate the freedom of the world`s mentor, do not stay back, entangled in a mental prison. Be free, and let your freedom make you soar to unbelievable dimensions and carry your loved ones along on your wings. I do not even want to talk about the Valentine`s Day that is called Chocolate Day in Ghana - a day for boosting the sales of cocoa products.I just hope that the money I use to buy chocolate which I take every morning is used properly, channelled to a worthwhile destination, and used for valuable purpose. Girls, you should take this chocolate issue very seriously, eat it every morning and tell me how it boosts not only your entire shine, but your physique too. Plus the world is looking forward to curb violence against girls and women through an organization called V-Day. It is all in the love month! Guys, find out how you can make the world a better place like paradise.Show love to the entire world and more specifically, show love EVERYDAY to that one who is capable of making your breathe stop, if you have such a person. In conclusion, permit me share with you the words of Ashton Kutcher, the American movie producer and actor who in his confession to People Magazine early this February said; “I hate Valentine`s Day. I think everyday should be a day of romance, then, on Valentine`s Day you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them. There will be one day of hating, and 364 days of love.” I really want to wish a happy Valentine`s Day to the president of the Republic of South Africa, Jacob Zuma. I wonder how he is going to spend the day - with which of the girls??? Myriads of kisses, Happy Valentine`s Day to all of you.
Timism of the day: Who's more rational?
There's no evidence whatsoever that men are more rational than women. Both sexes seem to be equally irrational.
Timism of the day: Active Listening.
Timism of the day: Today, strive to be a good listener and listen for two things:
1)Content 2) Emotion. Then, in your own words paraphrase back to the person what you've heard. DON"T go any further. Don't try to fix, or give advice, or give your opinion, or direct them in anyway. Just listen. Listening actually takes more energy than talking which is why this is called "Active Listening". You'll be considered a great conversationalist and people will be drawn to you. Nobody listens anymore. Have a sense of "othersness" today and make it a point to listen.
1)Content 2) Emotion. Then, in your own words paraphrase back to the person what you've heard. DON"T go any further. Don't try to fix, or give advice, or give your opinion, or direct them in anyway. Just listen. Listening actually takes more energy than talking which is why this is called "Active Listening". You'll be considered a great conversationalist and people will be drawn to you. Nobody listens anymore. Have a sense of "othersness" today and make it a point to listen.
Timism of the day: The power of H20.
Timism of the day: Let it be known that most of your mental health, sleeping and attention plan problems are more likely to do with water intake than all other explanations and/or components combined. Water is vital to life and it is often overlooked as a stress reliever. Every cell and every system in the body is dependent on water for healthy functioning. Normal daily activity causes the loss of about 2 liters (6-8 cups) of water, which must be replaced throughout the day. Our brains are composed of approximately 70% water and our blood is more than 85% water and according to research, a 5% drop in body fluids will cause a 25% to 30% loss of energy in the average person and a 15% drop in body fluids causes death.
It can be quite dangerous to rely on thirst alone in determining your body’s need for water. In fact, if you feel thirsty, you are probably already dehydrated. As we age, we lose our perception of thirst and usually fail to drink adequate amounts of water. According to one website on the benefits of water, it is estimate that about 80% of our North American population suffers from energy loss due to minor dehydration. When you do not drink enough water, not only can you experience the physical effects of dehydration, but you will also experience the MENTAL IMPACT.
Some early signs of dehydration include: Fatigue – lack of water is a major cause of daytime fatigue Muscle weakness Poor concentration Fogginess Headaches Stiff joints Dry eyes or nasal passages Dry mouth Further dehydration may lead to: Other Depressive symptoms including moodiness, apathy and sleep disturbances Anxiety Tension Hypertension Overeating Higher blood cholesterol Constipation Kidney stones Certain types of cancer and diabetes Consuming water is such a simple wellness strategy that it is often not even considered when developing out a personal health plan.
Many of the symptoms of dehydration are mistakenly associated with other conditions and illnesses and could be easily eliminated by increasing water consumption. Outcomes Of Adequate Water Consumption: Increases energy and focus Hydrates the cells and organs Hydrates the skin – (water reaches the skin last in the body) Cleanses the body of toxins Lubricates the vocal cords Enhance the digestion and absorption of nutrients Helps prevent constipation Helps kidneys functioning Regulates body temperature Keeps blood from thickening and controls blood pressure Carries nutrients and oxygen Lubricates joints and cushions the body’s organs Decreases risk of cancer (In one study, drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreased therisk of colon cancer by 45%, breast cancer by 79%, and bladder cancer by 50%) How much is enough?If your goal is to maintain a minimum level of hydration than the ‘8 glass’ rule is acceptable. However, if your goal is to carry a buffer against toxic chemicals, offset the negative impact ofprocessed and preserved foods that are consumed, or compensate for additional activity, than we should drink 9 or more glasses per day.
10 Water Tips:
1. Most of your water should come from beverages that do not contain caffeine since caffeine acts as a diuretic. We need to increase our water intake by 2cups for every 1 cup of caffeinated beverage. Decaffeinated coffee is still about 35% caffeine and insome cases has extra chemicals added to it in the process. Green tea still contains caffeine even though it also contains anti-oxidants.
2. Decrease the consumption of pop. The active ingredient in pop is phosphoric acid,which will leach calcium from the bones and is a major contributor to osteoporosis. It also confuses the body’s thirst response with the hunger response. It generally takes about 1 month of drinking water instead of pop to reduce the sugar craving and appreciate the flavor of pure water
3. Alcohol, like caffeine, is also dehydrating
4. Keep water with you when you are at work, home or at play
5. Increase the consumption of watery foods such as soup, cucumbers, tomatoes andother fruits
6. Take the urine test – if it is pale and almost colorless than you are well hydrated – it is dark than you probably need more fluids
7. Get in the habit of drinking water a half an hour before meals – like sugar from pop andsugar-based drinks we often we use food to suppress our need for water
8. Cool water is easier on the stomach and digestive system, however, cold water uses more calories as the body tries to warm up
9. When exercising, drink more water to compensate for the extra loss and try sippingalong the way
10. Develop a program to consciously increase your water intake over a couple of weeks.This allows your body to compensate and to minimize the bathroom trips. Increasing your daily intake of water can significantly increase energy and decrease mental confusion, which can help you stay mentally healthy. Such a simple strategy with such powerful results.
It can be quite dangerous to rely on thirst alone in determining your body’s need for water. In fact, if you feel thirsty, you are probably already dehydrated. As we age, we lose our perception of thirst and usually fail to drink adequate amounts of water. According to one website on the benefits of water, it is estimate that about 80% of our North American population suffers from energy loss due to minor dehydration. When you do not drink enough water, not only can you experience the physical effects of dehydration, but you will also experience the MENTAL IMPACT.
Some early signs of dehydration include: Fatigue – lack of water is a major cause of daytime fatigue Muscle weakness Poor concentration Fogginess Headaches Stiff joints Dry eyes or nasal passages Dry mouth Further dehydration may lead to: Other Depressive symptoms including moodiness, apathy and sleep disturbances Anxiety Tension Hypertension Overeating Higher blood cholesterol Constipation Kidney stones Certain types of cancer and diabetes Consuming water is such a simple wellness strategy that it is often not even considered when developing out a personal health plan.
Many of the symptoms of dehydration are mistakenly associated with other conditions and illnesses and could be easily eliminated by increasing water consumption. Outcomes Of Adequate Water Consumption: Increases energy and focus Hydrates the cells and organs Hydrates the skin – (water reaches the skin last in the body) Cleanses the body of toxins Lubricates the vocal cords Enhance the digestion and absorption of nutrients Helps prevent constipation Helps kidneys functioning Regulates body temperature Keeps blood from thickening and controls blood pressure Carries nutrients and oxygen Lubricates joints and cushions the body’s organs Decreases risk of cancer (In one study, drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreased therisk of colon cancer by 45%, breast cancer by 79%, and bladder cancer by 50%) How much is enough?If your goal is to maintain a minimum level of hydration than the ‘8 glass’ rule is acceptable. However, if your goal is to carry a buffer against toxic chemicals, offset the negative impact ofprocessed and preserved foods that are consumed, or compensate for additional activity, than we should drink 9 or more glasses per day.
10 Water Tips:
1. Most of your water should come from beverages that do not contain caffeine since caffeine acts as a diuretic. We need to increase our water intake by 2cups for every 1 cup of caffeinated beverage. Decaffeinated coffee is still about 35% caffeine and insome cases has extra chemicals added to it in the process. Green tea still contains caffeine even though it also contains anti-oxidants.
2. Decrease the consumption of pop. The active ingredient in pop is phosphoric acid,which will leach calcium from the bones and is a major contributor to osteoporosis. It also confuses the body’s thirst response with the hunger response. It generally takes about 1 month of drinking water instead of pop to reduce the sugar craving and appreciate the flavor of pure water
3. Alcohol, like caffeine, is also dehydrating
4. Keep water with you when you are at work, home or at play
5. Increase the consumption of watery foods such as soup, cucumbers, tomatoes andother fruits
6. Take the urine test – if it is pale and almost colorless than you are well hydrated – it is dark than you probably need more fluids
7. Get in the habit of drinking water a half an hour before meals – like sugar from pop andsugar-based drinks we often we use food to suppress our need for water
8. Cool water is easier on the stomach and digestive system, however, cold water uses more calories as the body tries to warm up
9. When exercising, drink more water to compensate for the extra loss and try sippingalong the way
10. Develop a program to consciously increase your water intake over a couple of weeks.This allows your body to compensate and to minimize the bathroom trips. Increasing your daily intake of water can significantly increase energy and decrease mental confusion, which can help you stay mentally healthy. Such a simple strategy with such powerful results.
Timism of the day: Feel special yet?
Timism of the day: Do you feel special today? Don't ever let it leave your mind that you were created to be an answer to someone's problem, a tall drink of water to someone's thirst, a salve to someone's wound, the missing piece to someone's puzzle, the hook to someone's song, the partner to someone's dance, the catc...h to someone's fall. God knew you before the foundation of the Universe, created you in His image to do a good, acceptable and eventually a perfect work. It's a process, but to love the process, you have to see yourself as special, starting TODAY. It's not about feeling special, it's about knowing. You know, that you know, that you know in your knower that YOU ARE SPECIAL. You didn't choose to be here, God chose for you to be here. So, since your here, you may as well forgive yourself, forgive your neighbor, forgive your enemies and start loving yourself as He loves you. STOP concentrating on your faults and begin to focus on your strengths. Therein lies the key to your purpose. Set your mind on the facts and say in the mirror: I deserve to be here, and the right to be here, and the right to be happy. This space I'm taking up is MY space, given to me for a purpose...a special purpose. So, do you feel special yet today?
Timism of the day: The Day Two Priniciple.
Timism of the day: Today is DAY TWO of the rest of your life. Enough with the beginnings and the endings. That's just preoccupation with things you can't control. Love the middle, the process. The DAY TWO principle is to learn to love the process of living. Happy Day Two.
Timism of the day: Bring it on cruel world.
Timism of the day: Said my prayers, made my claims, had my Einstein Bro's Alto and Lox bagel and my Smoothie King protein shake with antioxidant's for breakfast, got my vegetarian Subway with extra black olives ready and waiting for lunch and am ready to go. BRING IT ON CRUEL WORLD!
Timism of the day: Right Brain/Left Brain Technique.
Timism of the day: Did you know that all emotion, imagination, craving, creativity, illusion, fantasy, anxiety, worry, depression etc...takes place in your right brain? Did you also know that the left brain is the side that can reason, and is more logical and rational? There is a technique that you can use to flip t...he switch from you right brain (when things are getting too emotional for example), to your left brain called, appropriately, right brain/left brain technique, which involves some self-talk. So, try this the next time you get emotional or feel irrational or need to think things through a bit. Say to yourself, "Once again I thought that way, it's up to me, but not today". Another one that works is, "No matter how much the pressure or how loud the noise, I will think clearly, and keep my poise". Both of these statements, literally flip the switch from the right to left brain. We are not accountable to every thought that drops into our mind, but we are accountable to the ones we choose to dwell on. This is a practical way to grab the thought, look at it rationally with your left brain and choose. Never forget that there is always choice. If you are on one side of the wall and you think that you want to go to the other side but find that you can't go under, around, over, or through it, is there still choice? Yes, we can always change our perspective of the wall and being on this side. The grass may be greener on the other side, but you still have to mow it. Perhaps you’re better off, just where you are. Anyways, try this technique. It works for me. It may work for you.
Timism of the day: Herd Thinking.
Timism of the day: A psychologist objects to what he calls "herd thinking," but what a majority of people think is always what they've heard
Timism of the day: You can't change anyone.
Timism of the day: As a response to a question asked of me earlier today, which may help others as well, I’m going to give another Timism for the day on giving advice to others: First off, it's not wise to give advice, as it will always fall back on you if it doesn’t go well, but you can offer ideas that have worked ...for other people, or paradigm shifts, which is helping one see something from a different perspective, stating it something like, "Have you thought about maybe..." Or, have you read this, or heard about this?” I here it works very well in these types of situations.
One rule of thumb is to remember that YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE. You can however motivate, educate, inspire, support, pray with, agree with, give an unbiased perspective, give a paradigm shift, and manipulate (which is not a bad thing, by the way, depending on your premise).
Without going into all the ethics of my field that I commit to as a clinician, such as non- malfeasance, beneficence, fidelity and a commitment to “do no harm”, for example, as a layperson, given that about 95% or more of our problems stem from conflicts with other people, here's a decision making matrix that often helps. Please make sure to go through all the steps before doing anything drastic.
1) Make a viable request for change and as to how that behavior makes you feel, why you think it’s wrong, and why you feel the way you do about it. Use an “I” message, not a “YOU” message, holding them accountable to behavior only, but not your feelings. Not blaming. In other words, don’t say, “You make me feel like…” Think of a “YOU” message as pointing a finger at them, which is an aggressive move in almost every culture in the world.
2) Lead by example. (Don't ask someone to do something that you're not willing to do, or making some similar sacrifice or change.)
3) Cope with hope. (As it takes time to change, support them through it, if possible. Most people are in denial - which is an unconscious ego defense mechanism. (In other words, they do not see the need to change, not, will not, but cannot.) So, don’t take it personal if they don’t get it right away. Help them see connections between their irrational behaviors and there negative consequences. .tactfully and lovingly
4) Cope with nope. (This is the understanding that they're likely not going to change, but can I live with this? (Perhaps the request was irrational, or you went into the relationship with the intent to change them, which never works)
And, finally, if all else fails; 5) Alleviate the stressor. Turn a cold shoulder and LEAVE, don't look back and don't do this to get a reaction. This would be done in one of the earlier steps if you wish to use that technique; however ultimatums don't have a good track record, nor does all or nothing thinking, group interventions (horrible idea, but makes for good TV). 1X1 Interventions and Paradoxical Interventions do work though in extreme cases, which will have to be covered in another Timism perhaps. MOVE ON, DON’T LOOK BACK, and you should feel a release, a freedom at this point, a weight lifted, lighter on your feet, excited, empowered, a new lease on life etc… And, a little afraid, but don’t let fear get in the way of this. This is a time of faith. It will work out, I promise.
Remember the 70/30 rule. You are always at least 30% responsible for anything that happens in a relationships due to the ebb and flow of chemistry, intimacy on several levels, spirituality, and paralanguage. Figure out your 30%...although it's probably more :-). This rule always gives you power in every circumstance and leaves you with never being fully responsible. There is no such thing as a victim, as THERE IS ALWAYS CHOICE as adults. We can only be victimized. We choose to be victims, a sad way to try to live. To choose to be a victim is to relinquish your voice and power and believe that another’s needs are more important than yours. A passive person will never get what they want, be an underachiever, are prone to potential violence, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide more than any other style of living. In these unhappy Covenant marriages and other such legalistic traps that I keep hearing about for example, it's a setup, as a passive person is an aggressive person just lying in wait. Scary though.
Hopefully this will help. If any of you have any further inquiry into this matter please do not hesitate to contact me.
One rule of thumb is to remember that YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE. You can however motivate, educate, inspire, support, pray with, agree with, give an unbiased perspective, give a paradigm shift, and manipulate (which is not a bad thing, by the way, depending on your premise).
Without going into all the ethics of my field that I commit to as a clinician, such as non- malfeasance, beneficence, fidelity and a commitment to “do no harm”, for example, as a layperson, given that about 95% or more of our problems stem from conflicts with other people, here's a decision making matrix that often helps. Please make sure to go through all the steps before doing anything drastic.
1) Make a viable request for change and as to how that behavior makes you feel, why you think it’s wrong, and why you feel the way you do about it. Use an “I” message, not a “YOU” message, holding them accountable to behavior only, but not your feelings. Not blaming. In other words, don’t say, “You make me feel like…” Think of a “YOU” message as pointing a finger at them, which is an aggressive move in almost every culture in the world.
2) Lead by example. (Don't ask someone to do something that you're not willing to do, or making some similar sacrifice or change.)
3) Cope with hope. (As it takes time to change, support them through it, if possible. Most people are in denial - which is an unconscious ego defense mechanism. (In other words, they do not see the need to change, not, will not, but cannot.) So, don’t take it personal if they don’t get it right away. Help them see connections between their irrational behaviors and there negative consequences. .tactfully and lovingly
4) Cope with nope. (This is the understanding that they're likely not going to change, but can I live with this? (Perhaps the request was irrational, or you went into the relationship with the intent to change them, which never works)
And, finally, if all else fails; 5) Alleviate the stressor. Turn a cold shoulder and LEAVE, don't look back and don't do this to get a reaction. This would be done in one of the earlier steps if you wish to use that technique; however ultimatums don't have a good track record, nor does all or nothing thinking, group interventions (horrible idea, but makes for good TV). 1X1 Interventions and Paradoxical Interventions do work though in extreme cases, which will have to be covered in another Timism perhaps. MOVE ON, DON’T LOOK BACK, and you should feel a release, a freedom at this point, a weight lifted, lighter on your feet, excited, empowered, a new lease on life etc… And, a little afraid, but don’t let fear get in the way of this. This is a time of faith. It will work out, I promise.
Remember the 70/30 rule. You are always at least 30% responsible for anything that happens in a relationships due to the ebb and flow of chemistry, intimacy on several levels, spirituality, and paralanguage. Figure out your 30%...although it's probably more :-). This rule always gives you power in every circumstance and leaves you with never being fully responsible. There is no such thing as a victim, as THERE IS ALWAYS CHOICE as adults. We can only be victimized. We choose to be victims, a sad way to try to live. To choose to be a victim is to relinquish your voice and power and believe that another’s needs are more important than yours. A passive person will never get what they want, be an underachiever, are prone to potential violence, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicide more than any other style of living. In these unhappy Covenant marriages and other such legalistic traps that I keep hearing about for example, it's a setup, as a passive person is an aggressive person just lying in wait. Scary though.
Hopefully this will help. If any of you have any further inquiry into this matter please do not hesitate to contact me.
Timism of the day: 3 Mistakes Women Make.
Timism of the day: Through my research and personal experience, I've found that these 3 mistakes are responsible for more failed dates and relationships with men than any other factors. This is not exhastive, nor have am I going to go biblical on th...is, but here's the basic idea:
Misake #1: ...Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure..." Did you know that there are several ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you? Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date. As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes, here are a few of them:
a)Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
b) Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
c) Too much physical contact, especially in public. If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.
Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well. Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected. Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF.
Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential" A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION. Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS. When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road. This attraction, which is predominantly chemically based lasts, at best, about 18 months. Then you are left with a habit and a choice. If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why. It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken, or vise verse.
Now that I've said that, don't be hatin, I'm just the messenger. :-)
Misake #1: ...Leading A Man To Think You Are "Needy" And "Insecure..." Did you know that there are several ways you can set off a man's "Insecurity Alert" and make him think twice about pursuing a relationship with you? Sadly, even confident women often "accidentally" give off one of these signs... and just one can kill the chance of a man asking you on a second date. As you read through these signals men pick up on as "needy" and unattractive, ask yourself if YOU have ever been guilty of committing one of these deadly mistakes, here are a few of them:
a)Talking or saying nasty things about your past boyfriends. Saying bad things about men you have been involved with actually reflects the negatively back on YOU. It makes a man worry you are carrying around "baggage" that HE will have to deal with should he become involved with you.
b) Speaking negatively about other women. When women call other women names like "slut", "bitch", and "crazy", it is anything but impressive to a man you are attracted you. Women will often do this when they see a good looking, desirable woman, especially if they feel their man might be attracted to her. This just makes a man think you are trying to cover up your own insecurities, and looking for validation and attention. Not good.
c) Too much physical contact, especially in public. If you are constantly hanging on a man or touching him too much he'll start to see it as clingy behavior... but you'll never hear about this from him. It's far better to save your touches for short and infrequent moments that will surprise and enchant him.
Mistake #2: Appealing To His "Sexual" Side Instead Of His Emotional Side Many women make the mistake of thinking that men are primarily driven by sex alone... and think if they can attract a man SEXUALLY they will be able to attract him EMOTIONALLY as well. Women too often give up sex to a man in the hopes that it will translate into a relationship and get them what they want. In reality, a man has the capacity to view a sexual connection and an emotional connection as two entirely different things, and it requires a special set of skills to mold these two things together in a man's mind... and keep them connected. Men are out for far more than just sex... and a woman who knows how to fulfill a man EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY will be the woman who captures a man's heart... and gets that same fulfillment for HERSELF.
Mistake #3: Not Knowing How To Size Up A Man's "Relationship Potential" A lot of women will decide whether or not they should put energy into building a relationship with a man based on ATTRACTION. Yes, attraction is important. But it can also be DANGEROUS. When we feel a strong sense of attraction for someone, it can cause us to override our logic and ignore our instincts... leading us to overlook potential partner's deadly faults that could spell trouble down the road. This attraction, which is predominantly chemically based lasts, at best, about 18 months. Then you are left with a habit and a choice. If you've ever found yourself stuck in a relationship that is dragging you down, this is probably why. It's important to be able to size a guy up and spot any "warning signs" of a future bad relationship FAST... so you don't waste any of your time or emotional energy on someone who isn't right for you... or who will leave you heartbroken, or vise verse.
Now that I've said that, don't be hatin, I'm just the messenger. :-)
Timism of the day: The Ones Who Actually Do.
Timism of the day: The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who actually do.
Timism of the day: I'll Remember You.
Timism of the day: A dedication to a long lost friend. Although she will perhaps never see this, i feel so inclined.
I'll remember you - lyrics by Bob Dylan.
I'll remember you
When I've forgotten all the rest
You to me were true
You to me were the best
When there is no more
You cut to the core
Quicker than anyone I knew
When I'm all alone
In the great unknown
I'll remember you.
I'll remember you
At the end ...of the trail
I had so much left to do
I had so little time to fail
There's some people that
You don't forget
Even though you've only seen'm
One time or two
When the roses fade
And I'm in the shade
I'll remember you.
Didn't I, didn't I try to love you ?
Didn't I, didn't I try to care ?
Didn't I sleep, didn't I weep beside you
With the rain blowing in your hair.
I'll remember you
When the wind blows through the piney wood
It was you who came right through
It was you who understood
Though I'd never say
That I done it the way
That you'd have liked me to
In the end
My dear sweet friend
I'll remember you.
I'll remember you - lyrics by Bob Dylan.
I'll remember you
When I've forgotten all the rest
You to me were true
You to me were the best
When there is no more
You cut to the core
Quicker than anyone I knew
When I'm all alone
In the great unknown
I'll remember you.
I'll remember you
At the end ...of the trail
I had so much left to do
I had so little time to fail
There's some people that
You don't forget
Even though you've only seen'm
One time or two
When the roses fade
And I'm in the shade
I'll remember you.
Didn't I, didn't I try to love you ?
Didn't I, didn't I try to care ?
Didn't I sleep, didn't I weep beside you
With the rain blowing in your hair.
I'll remember you
When the wind blows through the piney wood
It was you who came right through
It was you who understood
Though I'd never say
That I done it the way
That you'd have liked me to
In the end
My dear sweet friend
I'll remember you.
Timism of the day: Cafe du Monde
Timism of the day: Cafe du Monde, New Orleans. OH what I wouldn't give to have a Cafe Au Lait and some Beignets right now. Go every year. Who wants to get with me this year?
Timism of the day: Life is Short.
Timism of the day: Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, hug & kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably and never regret anything that made you smile.
Timism of the day: Sorting.
Timism of the day. Many times, anxiety comes from sources that we are not often aware of, such as disorder in our lives, living space clutter, office clutter etc... Thus to alleviate this anxiety and/or stressor, there is a concept called 5-S that may be helpful with getting your life in order. I have my clients do... it, and it works. I have done it, and it works for me, so it may work for you. What is 5-S? Well the first S is SORT. So today I will teach you the first of five.
- Sort through everything
- Only keep what you need
- Get rid of it if it's not needed
- Reduce how many you have
The key to sorting:
- Leave only what you need
- WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT!
- Sort through everything
- Only keep what you need
- Get rid of it if it's not needed
- Reduce how many you have
The key to sorting:
- Leave only what you need
- WHEN IN DOUBT, THROW IT OUT!
Timism of the day: FHB
Timism of the day: If you feel remorse for something you did, then GOOD FOR YOU! Welcome to the human race. You have character. You have values. You care for others and there's good reason that you have hope for yourself and the world around you. You're not a sociopath, you have feelings. The closest a sociopathic mind... can come to remorse is getting caught. You, on the other hand are wired right, and for that, mark your wrongs up as a learning curve and move on as we are all fallible human beings (FHB). Getting it wrong is one step closer towards getting it right.See More
Timism of the day: Bowling or Bouncing?
Timism of the day: You don't have to live in your unquestioned patterns. We are indeed creatures of habit, but if you will just stop and take a look around you, you will see that there are two basic types of people, the bouncing balls of the world, and the bowling balls of the world. The bouncing balls of the world ...are reactive, and basically externally controlled. In other words, they are allowing themselves to be controlled by other people and situations and will eventually become the victims of this world. The bowling balls are the ones who stop, get smart to their maladaptive patterns, and learn that knowlege is power. They are proactive at questionning their patterns and set out to change and grow because they see that the winners are winning because they know that they need to know. Today, ask yourself, am I a bouncing ball, or a bowling ball. Today, it only takes a moment, and if you don't ask, well, you've likely just answered the question and you really don't want to know the answer. If you ask the right questions, you will get the right answers and sometimes questions ARE the best answers. Just ask yourself the question, "bouncing or bowling" and listen. Then, you will know, that you know, that you know, in YOUR KNOWER the truth about you. Then, it's a matter of what can I do about it TODAY? Then, what WILL I do? Today can be that day that you GET SMART and begin to embrace your power to change. Today can also be the day that you realize that you're doing well, your a bowling ball, and a validation that you are proactive and getting it. Again, JUST ASK THE QUESTION.
Timism of the day: All Ears.
Timism of the day: You know, sometimes it seems like no one is listening.
Timism of the day: Weary?
Timism of the day: Today's Timism is really all that i can think about and that is, that i am weary and overwhelmed and sometimes, a scripture such as this one is just what i need to hold on to. Thus, i give it to you as well, as i am sure i am not the only one being challenged here. It reads like this:
"He gives ...strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary."
"He gives ...strength to the weary,
And to him who lacks might He increases power.
Though youths grow weary and tired,
And vigorous young men stumble badly,
Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary."
Timism of the day: The Needs of a Child.
timism for the day: As they say, children are our future. Every child has needs that if met, facilitate a healthy self-esteem, values, emotional security, appropriate boundaries and self-actualization as a unique human being who loves self and others. The needs for every child are: Unconditional Love, Validation through praise/recognition/appreciation/hugs and prayer, Structure, Understanding when mistakes are made, Healthy Modeling, Challenge and Age-Appropriate Incentives, and Inclusion and Attachment into the family group and the community at large. When these needs are met consistently, children will learn to thrive as they mature "without us" emotionally, materially and spiritually. The operative word here is "consistency". For those of you who have children....count your blessings, as there is no greater gift. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim
Timism of the day: Time is NOT my friend today.
Timism of the day: No matter how you dress it up, TIME is not my friend today. Time, which i often call the ultimate absolute is often thought of as something we can manipulate in some way. That my friends, is a myth. We cannot save it, catch up on it, turn it back...nothing. It simply has its way with us, much like g...ravity. If there is anything that makes us all equal, it is time. If there is to be a judgement at the end of this life, it will be with respect to what we did with our time. Time and i somewhere, somehow had a spat along the way and we simply must make up. TODAY i will meet time, of course on its own terms and turf, and figure out how to make amends, as i am sure we can make friends, its imperative, crucial, and doable. Wish me luck in my negotiations, as i will do the same for you, as we will all have this conversation at some time or another.
Timism of the day: The Change Machine.
Timism of the day: Funny, as i’ve just thought of this, so i haven't thought it through yet, but God, in some ways is like a coin machine, you put something in and you always get change back. God is all about change and growth and adapting. People are reluctant to change and many even fear change, however, its chang...e that brings us growth. Those who say people don't change either refuse to see the truth or don't want to see the truth. Truth being that it would be more true to say that people do nothing but change. i used to think it clever to say that when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, then it's time to change. Then i realized that all that people heard when i said that was Pain Pain and change, guilty by association. One of the main reasons why we resist change so much is that we've been told that it is supposed to be painful. Fact of the matter is, it does not have to be painful and is more typically a breath of fresh air and a relief. How many times have you had to embrace change, awfulizing a catastrophiizing, fighting it kicking and screaming only to find out that it wasn’t at all like you had imagined, and better. Anyways, i think what i am to say to you today is that change is natural, the not knowing is natural, surprises are natural, and people being predictably unpredictable is natural and the ability to change, mold, and adapt comes natural. You’ve been doing it since you were a mere molecule preparing for a race. You embraced it then, you won, and here you are now. So, embrace it, don’t resist it. Your safe, happy place is quite often a ball and chain to you. That’s all for now, take it, test it and teach it.
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