SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD

timism of the day: Although the phrase, "Spare the rod and spoil the child," is not a Biblical text, there is no doubt that it reflects the meaning of two or three of the strongest Biblical Proverbs on child rearing.



These passages from the book of Proverbs read, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him." (Proverbs 13:24, King James Version, KJV) "Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15, KJV) "Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. If you beat him with the rod you will save his life from Sheol" ("soul from hell" Authorized KJV). (Proverbs 23:13, 15, KJV)



All other Biblical texts which speak of child rearing, with the possible exception of Hebrews 12:6 which speaks of "chastising" ("scourging" in the Authorized KJV), use more general, positive terms such as "discipline," "nurture" and "train up."



There are those texts that would even seem to contradict the Proverbs texts, a primary example being Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the nurture and instruction of the Lord."



Professionals who daily must deal with child physical abuse uniformly speak of the fact that most physical abuse results from attempts to punish or control the child, which attempt has escalated to produce physical harm. For this reason, many are concerned when religions, on the basis of the above quoted passages, advocate the use of the rod.



One pediatrician who works with physically abused children in hospital emergency room situations has said, "I do not understand that quote from Proverbs which says, 'If you beat him with a rod he will not die.' The fact is, many do die."



All Biblical scholars, including fundamental Christian teachers, know that, on the surface, at least, there are apparent contradictions between various sections and books of scripture. However, the fundamental scholar, who believes in the literal inerrancy of the entire Biblical text, will resolve these by pointing out the differences of time, place and dispensation.



In the case of potential child abuse by physical beating, it becomes extremely important that such scholars do resolve these apparent discrepancies. Perhaps this could be done by pointing to the "New Covenant" emphasis upon the positive teachings which follow the model of Jesus' treatment of children, or of the apostle Paul's definition of love in I Corinthians 13. (Note: the reference here has been to Christian scholarship. It is of interest that there seems not to be as much emphasis on these "use of the rod" passages as justification for corporal punishment in the Jewish tradition which gave us these Proverbs.)



It is not the place of this discussion to deal with theological issues, however. The manner in which this is resolved theologically must be left to each parent. So what are you thoughts on spanking a child?

FUNNY THINGS I THOUGHT AS A CHILD

timism of the day: i used to think i could run faster when i got new tennis shoes. i used to think that the ratings for movies meant G-Good, PG-Pretty Good, R-Really happened, X-Sex. i used to think that since we had no fireplace growing up that i had to keep a door unlocked on Christmas night so Santa could get in. i believed something evil did in fact live underneath my bed so i would not sleep with my hands over the edge ever, to name a few.

FEAR OF PUNISHMENT

timism of the day: I guarantee that if the fear of punishment is the only reason that you believe you will not do something again that is not in your best interest, then I guarantee to you that you will do it again. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim

FEAR IS NOT A GOOD MOTIVATOR

timism of the day: Just a few things about fear:

■Fear is not a good motivator because eventually the fear subsides, and so does your motivation.
■Your motivation has to come from a deeper place and has to be internally motivated.
■In fact, in a sense, you need more than motivation; you need inspiration, which implies a recommitment or a commitment to a value system.
■Some of us have never asked ourselves what are values are?
■Here’s a quick trick to get to your current value system.
Take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and list your strengths on the left and weaknesses on the rigt. (Things I am good at) Vs. (Things I could improve on). Once you have made that list, therein lies your value system on the left and your conflicts on the right.

Try it. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

timism of the day: The four agreements:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under and circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. Luv-N-Ja. tim

LOVE IS

timism of the day: 1 COR. 13:13 – Now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the Greatest of these is love.



1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."





tenderness, fondness, predilection, warmth, passion, adoration. 1, 2. Love, affection, devotion all mean a deep and enduring emotional regard, usually for another person. Love may apply to various kinds of regard: the charity of the Creator, reverent adoration toward God or toward a person, the relation of parent and child, the regard of friends for each other, romantic feelings for another person, etc. Affection is a fondness for others that is enduring and tender, but calm. Devotion is an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person; it may also imply consecration to a cause. 2. liking, inclination, regard, friendliness. 15. like. 16. adore, adulate, worship.



■Contrary to a lot of the popular secular books on relationship, man did not invent relationship. It was a God idea. In fact He created the entire universe in such a perfect mathematical system, so that our planet would have the perfect conditions for mankind.
■Then God created an incredible paradise, in which He intended man to live. Finally, He formed man out of earth and breathed life into him. God created man to have relationship with him.
■I find it very interesting that in Genesis, as God was creating the world, the only time He said that anything was not good, was when Adam was alone and could not find an appropriate helper.
■Clearly God recognized the importance of human relationship as well, which is why He created Eve. Right from the beginning, God taught us about right relationship with Him and with each other.


■Adam and Eve had the perfect life - living in paradise and walking in complete union with God and yet, they (like us) were deceived into thinking there could be something better.
■Their disobedience (and ours) separated them from God and changed the overall relationship. Now that sin and death had entered their lives, Adam and Eve would no longer live that perfect life and would eventually die.
■Because of the curse of sin, they would struggle through life, separated from God. Their sin opened a door between the spiritual and physical realms for Satan to torment human relationships from that day until the day that Jesus returns and frees mankind from evil for eternity.
■This is why we see so many struggles in relationships today.
■There’s been thousands of years of deception
■And thousands of years to mold those who allow it
■I'm sure that evil is delighted to see the divorce rate up above 50% (even among Christians).
■I'm sure that evil loves seeing the alienated relationships between parents and children.
■I know that evil loves to see people killing and hurting each other.
■It's easy to see evil influence in the relationships between employers and employees.
■Mostly, it's got to just thrill evil to no end to see what has happened to the relationship between mankind and God.
■Opposite of all that, it breaks God's heart to see what man has allowed evil to accomplish in relationships.


Evil is…yet so is LOVE!!!

■As God has a plan for you, so does evil.
■John 10:10 tells us that evil has come to steal, kill, and destroy you.
■Evil hates us because God loves us.
■Actually Evil hates God and takes it out on us.
■Second, we must understand that evil doesn't want us in right relationship with God or each other and will do everything within its power to keep us in conflict.
■If we recognize this, then we will know that ANY time we are in conflict with another human being, we (or they) are being motivated and manipulated by evil.
■This is why Paul taught in Ephesians 6 that we don't fight against flesh and blood. It is always a spiritual battle that must be fought through prayer.
■We must learn to recognize and not fall into evil’s relationship traps.
■He wants us to argue and fight.
■He wants us to be mad at each other and not talk.
■He wants us offended.
Cognitive Irrational Beliefs about Relationships

■My partner will never do anything to hurt me.
■My partner will sense what I need without my telling him or her.
■My partner will never be sexually attracted to anyone else.
■If my partner truly loves me, he or she will always try to please us.
■Love means never being angry or disappointed with each other.
■The thought of ending our relationship will never cross either of our minds.
■Our sexual relationship will always be exciting.
■My partner will always be honest, open, and direct with me.
■My partner will always respect, understand, and accept me no matter what I say or do.
■My relationship with my partner will meet all my needs.


Here is your assignment for the coming weeks and months. Every time you feel yourself moving toward a conflict, recognize it and stop it in its tracks while it is happening.



LISTEN FOR LOVE

■There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words "I love you."
■So we try to communicate the idea in other words.
■We say 'take care' or 'don't drive too fast' or 'be good.' But really, these are just other ways of saying 'I love you,' 'you are important to me,' 'I care what happens to you.'
■We are sometimes very strange people. The only thing we want to say, and the one thing that we should say, is the one thing we don't say.
■And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and signs to say what we really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
■Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.
■An impulsive hug says I love you even though the words might be saying a very different thing.
■Any expression of a person's concern for another says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes we must look and listen very intently for the love that contains. But it is often there, beneath the surface.
■A mother may nag her son constantly about his grades or cleaning his room. The son may hear only the nagging, but if he listens carefully, he will hear the love underneath the nagging. His mother wants him to do well, to be successful. Her concern and love for her son unfortunately emerge in her nagging. But it is love all the same.
■A daughter comes home way past her curfew, and her father confronts her with angry words. The daughter may hear only the anger, but if she listens carefully, she will hear the love under the anger. "I was worried about you," the father is saying. "Because I care about you and I love you. You are important to me."
■We say I love you in many ways - with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears.
■Sometimes we show our love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. We show our love sometimes by impulsiveness. Many times we have to show our love by forgiving someone who has not listened to the love we have tried to express.
■The problem in listening for love is that we don't always understand the language of love which the other person is using.
■A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her because he expects her to be talking his language. Thus, we have to force ourselves to really listen for love.
■The problem with our world is that people rarely listen to each other. They hear the words, but they don't listen to the actions that accompany the words or the expression on the face.
■Or people listen only for rejection or misunderstanding. They do not see the love that is there just beneath the surface, even if the words are angry.
■We have to listen for love in those around us.
■If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize. Listen for love and we will find that the world is a very loving place, after all.
LOVE is a happy thing.

It makes us laugh,

It makes us sing,

It makes us sad,

It makes us cry,

It makes us seek the reason why,

It makes us take,

It makes us give,

but above all else, it makes us live! ~ Jayne Fisher

■James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.


God so loved the world that He gave His Only Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not Perish but have Eternal Life. (John 3:16)



Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. Luv-N-Ja. tim

THE 90/10 RULE

timism of the day: The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company, a church, a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past, we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you.we are in charge of our attitudes. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim