I WANT TO BE MENTALLY ILL

Question: I have this strange obsession with mental disorders. Everything I do I relate to myself having some sort of illness. I know that I must have depression, because no matter what I do those feelings of helplessness towards myself keep coming back. But I don’t know what I have, really. Most people are afraid of going insane, and they think “I’m not crazy!” when they’re in my place: lost, alone, depressed, suicidal, and self injuring. But with me, I WANT to go crazy; I WANT to see/hear things that aren’t there. The simple thought of being schizophrenic (which is my favorite mental disease) just makes me smile ear to ear. I love hospitals, and have this great desire to be in one. I want to be sick, and I know that’s horrible, but I can’t help it. I had a dream that I was in an ambulance, being raced to the hospital, and I woke up smiling. The thought of having problems is this huge thing for me. I get all sorts of books on mental illness and psychology. Just today I was thinking, “Am I obsessed with going insane? But then does that make me insane already? Can I just not deal with the fact that I’m sane? But then all these other symptoms I have, does that make me insane…?” I just have no idea what’s wrong with me, if anything is wrong with me. But that’s just it, I can’t fathom that nothing’s wrong with me. Would you have any idea what I should do? Oh, but you should also know, that I’ve been recommended for therapy by my school counselor for cutting myself, and to speak the truth I’d love to go to therapy, but I say I don’t want to. It’s like I want people to decide what to do with me. I don’t know what that is either. Help, please? Answer: There must be some part of you that is starved for attention. That’s the only logical rationale behind why you’d want to have a mental illness or to be hospitalized. Maybe you believe that if you were hospitalized you’d have many people concerned about you. There might be teams of doctors caring and looking after you. Your parents or family would likely be involved too. You may see hospitalization as a form of “guaranteed attention.” Perhaps that is your goal. Your deep desire for attention has turned into an obsession. The desire to be sick may be related to a disorder called Munchausen syndrome. Individuals with this disorder not only desire to be ill but they actually pretend that they are. Many even undergo risky or painful tests and treatments for their fictitious disorders in order to receive sympathy and attention. This is not the type of behavior you’re currently engaged in. The concern is that in the future you may progress from wishing you were ill to actually pretending that you are or doing something to make yourself ill. You wrote about schizophrenia being your “favorite” mental illness. You say that you “want” to experience delusions and hallucinations. No one who had schizophrenia or knew anyone with the disease would have this desire. You must be unaware of the fact that schizophrenia is one of the most debilitating mental illnesses that exists. It’s treatable and people can get better but there is no cure. Individuals who have the disorder say that it’s “hell on earth.” No one who was thinking clearly or knew anything about it would want this disease nor would they wish that they could experience any of its terrifying symptoms. It’s normal to want attention. Children need attention and when it’s not given they might act out inappropriately to get it. Teenagers need attention too. If they do not get it they too may misbehave. Individuals who are physically or emotionally neglected may go to great lengths to get noticed. I suspect the cutting behavior you’ve engaged in and your desire to be ill are misguided attempts to gain attention and sympathy from your caregivers. It’s human nature to need and want attention but it shouldn’t come at the expense of harming yourself. You want to attend therapy but when presented with the opportunity, you lie and say you don’t want to go. Why do you do this? If you have the chance to receive help then you should take it. You are engaging in self-harm and it needs to be treated. The desire to have a mental illness or to be hospitalized also is something that desperately needs to be addressed in counseling. A counselor can help you find more appropriate ways to ease your emotional pain. You are clearly suffering and your thinking is distorted but these things are correctable. The next time you are offered the chance for counseling make the very smart decision of saying yes. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim

STIGMA

timism of the day: Are you having self-doubts today? This is common, your limited education, your father dying when you were young, your history of mental illness, an alcoholic parent, being raped, and guilt over a serious mistake you made in your teenage years. It is very important that you remember your past is over. Never build your future around your past. Jesus was born with a terrible stigma. His mother Mary, was pregnant with Him before she ever married Joseph, His father. The Bible says that they had not had a sexual relationship, but, “that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost” (Matt. 1:20). Only two people in the world really knew that Mary was a virgin: God and Mary. Undoubtedly, hundreds of people mocked and sneered at Joseph for marrying Mary. Jesus grew up with this. He stepped out of a cesspool of human scorn. He clawed His way out of a pit of questions. He ignored the slanderous remarks. He knew the truth. He knew who He was and what He was about. It did not matter that others did not believe. He chose to chart His own course. The opinions of others did not matter. God never consults your past to determine your future. He never looked back. He never discussed the situation with anyone. There is not a single Scripture in the entire Bible where He ever brought up His background or His limitations. You too, can move beyond the scars of yesterday. Stop talking about your limited education. Quit complaining that everyone in your family is poor. Stop repeating stories of those who failed you. Stop pointing your fingers at the economy. Stop advertising your pain. Stop meditating on your flaws. Everyone has limitations. Each of us are handicapped in some way. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Stop looking at where you have been and start looking at where you are going. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim

KEEP IT SIMPLE

timtomFoolery of the day: Joe has been seeing a psychoanalyst for four years for treatment of the fear that he had monsters under his bed. It had been years since he had gotten a good night's sleep. Furthermore, his progress was very poor, and he knew it. So, one day he stops seeing the psychoanalyst and decides to try something different. A few weeks later, Joe's former psychoanalyst meets his old client in the supermarket, and is surprised to find him looking well-rested, energetic, and cheerful. "Doc!" Joe says, "It's amazing! I'm cured!" "That's great news!" the psychoanalyst says. "you seem to be doing much better. How?" "I went to see another doctor," Joe says enthusiastically, "and he cured me in just ONE session!" "One?!" the psychoanalyst asks incredulously. "Yeah," continues Joe, "my new doctor is a behaviorist." "A behaviorist?" the psychoanalyst asks. "How did he cure you in one session?" "Oh, easy," says Joe. "He told me to cut the legs off of my bed." Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim

WHALES

timtomFoolery of the day: The other night, i was out and overheard three heavyset women talking with Scottish accents. Curiously, since i had been to Scotland, i approached them and inquired if they were from Scotland and one said loudly,"No, you lakey, we're from Wales!" So, trying to be polite, i asked, "So, have you three whales ever been to Scotland?" ...and that's all i remember. Just sayin.

HOW TO CHEAT PROOF YOUR RELATIONSHIP (FOR FEMALES)

timism of the day: According to research infidelity is very common within the first year of a relationship and it is likely due to becoming an "anything goes" society where the indiscretions of public figures are practically daily news. Experts say if you don't want someone to stray take these actions to try and prevent it: 1. Infidelity rates are much higher among cohabiting couples because, in general, a couple that lives together is NOT as committed & most likely he is on the prowl. IF you cohabitate prior to marriage it is best to do it as a "TRIAL BASIS" IF it doesn't work, MOVE ON. IF a person feels trapped an affair can seem like an easy way out. 2. The internet is a slippery slope toward infidelity, as easy access to porn, pornography leads to an increase in anonymous sex, and FB where you have an abundance of Ex's and One night stands finding your partner, e-flirting can get out of hand quickly. Most that use the internet to have an affair are looking for sex, not intimacy. 3. It's important to vocalize your appreciation, recreate excitement, be spontaneous. 4. Make sex a priority, otherwise your partner will feel they have to look outside the relationship, some sex is better than no sex. 5. People who have commitment issues tend to feel more trapped with relationships, so they are more likely to use another person outside of the relationship as an intimacy blocker to keep themselves from getting too close to their partner. Warning signs to identify a person who is at high risk for straying: He has an extremely active sex life (including masturbation), He has a lot of female friends (in person or online), He has/had a lot of male friends who cheat, and he has parents (mom or dad) who cheated. Just sayin. Take it. Test it. Teach it. tim